I've decided to discuss my last few days, which have been... oddly satisfying and disconcerting, all in one.
Thursday - work until I feel the need to go to bed for the night. A) that's late and B) that's too late to be working. I had to skip a lovely outing I'd looked forward to all week because of all the work. Boo to work.
Friday - get up much earlier than usual and go back to work. Work until I feel the need to eat dinner. The bf beats me to my house for our usual weekend ritual of yummy Indian food. (This is a huge shocker, because he's almost always the one with the later time schedule, forcing me to wait on his sorry ass.) After a lovely glass of wine and like two bites of dinner (not hungry after all the work, I guess?), we head over to the Chandi's and drink more wine. It was lovely until one part of the Chandi decided to go to bed early to be up for her early morning run (hmph - marathoners are really, really annoying). Sorry B but it's true!
Saturday - um... was there a Saturday? I have no memory of it.
Sunday - drove over to SJM's old house for the last time *sigh* and managed to steal the female half of the duo for a lovely trip to Target. As payback, I helped unpack at the new house and realized that there is such a thing as too much vinegar.
Monday - Worked so frantically I forgot to eat food. If you know me at all, you know that is incredibly unlikely. Got out THE WORK PRODUCT of the century about 4:45 Monday afternoon. Had wishes and needs crushed by big boss soon thereafter. Still proud of THE WORK PRODUCT of the century though.
Tuesday - Got to work absurdly early to attend hearing related to THE WORK PRODUCT of the century. Hearing supposed to be done by lunch, ends up going until 4 where, wishes and needs reinvigorated when THE WORK PRODUCT of the century gets mentioned and although I couldn't see the other side, I'm fairly certain heads snapped and eyes agogged. Oh and the hearing went exactly the way our side wanted it to. Bad guys defeated! Went back to work and stayed long enough to hear that THE WORK PRODUCT of the century is officially THE WORK PRODUCT of the century. It's not just in my head. And the guy in our other office who doesn't even know your name if you don't have cocknballs? Yeah, he called THE WORK PRODUCT of the century aggressive. In a good way. While it was cool, it was weird, because what do I care what he thinks? Conundrum. Oh yeah, drank wine and have carpet picnic with the girls. Missed Barack and fell asleep before I could finish hearing what Keith O. thought about it. Sad.
Wednesday (today) - Am confused that it's not Thursday all day. Receive accolades in the form of an ALL CAPS! email, a few phone calls, and a news article that gets it all wrong for THE WORK PRODUCT of the year. Decide to cut the workload considerably post 4 o'clock, hence the current post.
It's been a good few days and oh my god do I need a nap. And quite possibly a trophy.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
They say you're Irish...
nah nah nah nah nah nah. Well I'm Irish too. nah nah nah nah nah nah.
Or at least that's what they tell me. So I'm here, wearing green, and I've seriously contemplated the outcomes of pinching strangers in the elevator who are not. (I've decided to avoid the battery and since I'm officially admitting my contemplation, the assault as well.) My family insists the only thing they are, aside from poor, country folk, is Irish. I tend to believe this because of the following:
1. I have blonde hair.
2. I have blue eyes.
3. I'm afraid of snakes (although technically this comes from the non-Irish side but whatev).
4. Almost every man in my family has a Riley or Odais somewhere in their name.
5. I spent the majority of my early childhood lying in the mounds of clovers in my front yard looking for a four-leafed clover. Or is it four leaf clover? I'm unsure.
6. My dad's facial hair comes in red, which is why he only ever grew a beard when he was in Vietnam and shaves regularly since then (or so he says).
7. I'm still fairly certain the tiny footprints I used to see in my old bathroom were those of a leprechaun.
8. I look good in green.
9. Rainbow Brite was my favorite cartoon/book character as a child. (It's a rainbow, pot-at-the-end thing.)
10. I've seen Gone With the Wind at least a dozen times, intermission and all (and if you don't know why this is Irish, shame on you).
11. The only tattoo I've ever wanted to get was a green clover. I'm never going to get that tattoo, so don't worry, but it's the only thing I'd consider putting permanently on my body.
12. The fat in my ass is shaped in large part by potato products. And assorted other white foods.
13. My senior thesis in college was written on the role of mermaids in the folklore (well only folklore to us) of 13th century, Irish popular culture. I like to think of it more as a feminist take on the mean, mean Irish men (or any men of the era), but it's primary focus was Irish folklore. (Small aside: my love of the name Lorelai comes from the mermaid stories I read then not Gilmore Girls, although I'd be perfectly happy to be aptly compared to Lorelai Gilmore.)
14. I like Whiskey. Mainly U.S. whiskey but whiskey nonetheless.
and finally
15. I do not drink green beer.
And in case you can't tell, I have no empirical reason to believe I'm Irish. It's all made up bullshit. BUT. I've always been disappointed by my lack of ethnicity, so I embrace all the green good luck I can wrap my colloquial brain around.
In honor of St. Patrick's day, here's my made up Irish prayer, just for you:
Or at least that's what they tell me. So I'm here, wearing green, and I've seriously contemplated the outcomes of pinching strangers in the elevator who are not. (I've decided to avoid the battery and since I'm officially admitting my contemplation, the assault as well.) My family insists the only thing they are, aside from poor, country folk, is Irish. I tend to believe this because of the following:
1. I have blonde hair.
2. I have blue eyes.
3. I'm afraid of snakes (although technically this comes from the non-Irish side but whatev).
4. Almost every man in my family has a Riley or Odais somewhere in their name.
5. I spent the majority of my early childhood lying in the mounds of clovers in my front yard looking for a four-leafed clover. Or is it four leaf clover? I'm unsure.
6. My dad's facial hair comes in red, which is why he only ever grew a beard when he was in Vietnam and shaves regularly since then (or so he says).
7. I'm still fairly certain the tiny footprints I used to see in my old bathroom were those of a leprechaun.
8. I look good in green.
9. Rainbow Brite was my favorite cartoon/book character as a child. (It's a rainbow, pot-at-the-end thing.)
10. I've seen Gone With the Wind at least a dozen times, intermission and all (and if you don't know why this is Irish, shame on you).
11. The only tattoo I've ever wanted to get was a green clover. I'm never going to get that tattoo, so don't worry, but it's the only thing I'd consider putting permanently on my body.
12. The fat in my ass is shaped in large part by potato products. And assorted other white foods.
13. My senior thesis in college was written on the role of mermaids in the folklore (well only folklore to us) of 13th century, Irish popular culture. I like to think of it more as a feminist take on the mean, mean Irish men (or any men of the era), but it's primary focus was Irish folklore. (Small aside: my love of the name Lorelai comes from the mermaid stories I read then not Gilmore Girls, although I'd be perfectly happy to be aptly compared to Lorelai Gilmore.)
14. I like Whiskey. Mainly U.S. whiskey but whiskey nonetheless.
and finally
15. I do not drink green beer.
And in case you can't tell, I have no empirical reason to believe I'm Irish. It's all made up bullshit. BUT. I've always been disappointed by my lack of ethnicity, so I embrace all the green good luck I can wrap my colloquial brain around.
In honor of St. Patrick's day, here's my made up Irish prayer, just for you:
May your days be spent floating on mounds of green clover;
May you always get to be Rainbow Brite for Halloween;
May your whiskey go down smoothly;
And may your own, personal St. Patrick chase away all the snakes.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Flaming Lips Awesomeness...
Saw this on PopCandy. It might be the coolest thing I've ever seen... this month. I'm seriously crushing on FL right now.
Flaming Lips covering Madonna's Borderline. Could there be anything better in life?
Flaming Lips covering Madonna's Borderline. Could there be anything better in life?
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Skydiving...
Well I did it. I wanted to wait until I had video to post, but I guess that's not happening anytime soon - thanks bf! I'll try to post again once it becomes somehow accessible to me and not on someone's weird, little recording tape that I haven't seen since the 1990s. But apparently it's quality. Whatever.
Turns out the skydiving got canceled and then rescheduled. I got all psyched up for Saturday and then it was too gusty. But Sunday? Perfect day.
Let me set the scene: I finally went to sleep early Sunday morning (after pitching a pitiful fit to the bf about having to get up early the next day and insisting on going to bedorshire). Of course I couldn't sleep because I kept hearing the wind knock against the windows and wondering if the whole thing was going to be called off - yet again. Part of me hoped it would, because I was crazy tired but the better part of me was hoping Texas weather would do me proud. I woke up at 8:30 (see? early!) and called my co-skydiver in crime. She called back shortly and told me we were on. Of course I still had a little time to snooze if I wanted but I was way to excited/antsy.
I went to the living room and found a Golden Girls marathon on the Hallmark Channel (aside: GG moved from Lifetime to Hallmark! Who knew?) and I was pretty certain it was a good omen. After I'd finally coaxed the bf out of the house, we made our way to the launch pad. I insisted on having a bagel before I fell out of a plane and after about 3 stops - bagels are hard to find! - I was officially on my way.
In the car ride there - the place was a good 30-40 minutes away - the bf was amazed AMAZED! at how cool, calm, and collected I was. I told him there was nothing to mentally prepare for, so really what was there to think about at this point? He thought there was definitely a mental preparation aspect to the whole thing, but after discussing with my co-jumper, also a lawyer, we decided it must be our profession that keeps us from getting nervous at attempts at physical endeavors. Put me in a courtroom and I'll be reciting this or that, anticipating arguments, going over easy objections, etc. in my head the entire morning before. But skydiving? Chatter and fun music is all I had to think about.
Blah, blah, blah, 1 orange jumpsuit later and we're up in the plane. I looked like a convict but at least I was visible... I guess. My instructor woman! asked me if I had any questions - as we're climbing up to 10,000 feet of course - and I just wanted to know what happened if she died on my back before she pulled the cord thing. (I swear I'd just seen something on yahoo news or similar about that.) Luckily the chute had a gadget that automatically triggered the parachute if we reached a certain altitude.
As I looked out the window on the way up, I was completely calm. I realized there wasn't one butterfly in my stomach, which was nice because I can't say I feel that way on any normal day, much less a day when I'm about to potentially plummet to my death. We scooted, quite literally, up to the plane door and as we waddled our way forward I had a momentary panic moment (much like I do when I stand on a diving board or when I'm tripping over my shoes at the top of my staircase at home, or ya know, the crack on the sidewalk outside work, whatevs) that I was about to fall. Luckily I didn't have much time for speculation and before I could think to put my hands in front of me to catch myself, I was out. And flying! And all of a sudden realizing I couldn't breathe. Nope, I wasn't flying - I was very quickly suffocating to death. My brain was telling my mouth that of course I could breathe; I was surrounded by air; there was nothing I could do but breathe. But of course my illogical lack of oxygen receiving lungs took over and I panted horribly. Luckily the free fall portion was over relatively quickly. It wasn't a scary experience by any stretch but more of an uncomfortable feeling that passed as soon as the wind stopped hitting me in the face so hard.
And then IT happened. The parachute opened and after the initial lurch and feeling of gravity, I experienced one of the most peaceful, calm, and relaxing few minutes of my entire life. It was pretty remarkable.
I did worry briefly when I saw my friend spiraling crazily downward but apparently that's what we were all doing and it only looked scary from above (so said my tandem jump instructor). There was one weird thing though. As we were getting closer to the ground, my instructor was telling me how to put my feet for landing, etc. I responded "okay" after every instruction she gave. Apparently this caused her some amount of anxiety because she said, "you keep saying 'okay' but are you really okay?" Um, is there some kind of conversation I should be having when I falling toward the earth? Is there a Miss Manners on this subject that I don't know about? What should I have been saying? Not okay? Commenting on last week's episode of Lost? Strange.
We landed on our feet, just like I'd imagine you'd land if you could really fly, about 6 feet away from the guy who unhooked us, so I'm guessing my instructor was pretty accurate. I kept wanting the parachute to collapse all around me so I could come climbing out from underneath it like they do on cartoons but they were too professional for all that.
Things I learned:
1) Wear your hair back and don't let one, single strand get loose. I had quite a few strays and that shit was impossible to brush for hours!
2) Bring your own gloves. I don't know of finger diseases, necessarily, but if there are some, you'd get them sharing general skydiving gloves with all the other scrubby folks who run through that place.
3) Skydiving is the best way ever to have a peaceful day. I had the most relaxing day that I've probably ever had - or at least had in the last few years. I just kept thinking, as I was sitting on the couch reading, "I should really start all my days off like this."
4) If you're an adrenaline junkie, don't skydive. It's not all that adrenaline-enducing. I didn't do it for that purpose, but I was a tad bit surprised I wasn't more hyped up after it was all said and done.
5) Don't talk very much to your instructor. Those fools will do everything in their power to freak your shit out. I didn't encounter it so much with my instructor, but I could see it in others and feel it bubbling just underneath the surface of mine.
6) Always go skydiving (as in go to the location) with someone who won't do it. It really helps with the superiority complex you're bound to have after you're done.
Turns out the skydiving got canceled and then rescheduled. I got all psyched up for Saturday and then it was too gusty. But Sunday? Perfect day.
Let me set the scene: I finally went to sleep early Sunday morning (after pitching a pitiful fit to the bf about having to get up early the next day and insisting on going to bedorshire). Of course I couldn't sleep because I kept hearing the wind knock against the windows and wondering if the whole thing was going to be called off - yet again. Part of me hoped it would, because I was crazy tired but the better part of me was hoping Texas weather would do me proud. I woke up at 8:30 (see? early!) and called my co-skydiver in crime. She called back shortly and told me we were on. Of course I still had a little time to snooze if I wanted but I was way to excited/antsy.
I went to the living room and found a Golden Girls marathon on the Hallmark Channel (aside: GG moved from Lifetime to Hallmark! Who knew?) and I was pretty certain it was a good omen. After I'd finally coaxed the bf out of the house, we made our way to the launch pad. I insisted on having a bagel before I fell out of a plane and after about 3 stops - bagels are hard to find! - I was officially on my way.
In the car ride there - the place was a good 30-40 minutes away - the bf was amazed AMAZED! at how cool, calm, and collected I was. I told him there was nothing to mentally prepare for, so really what was there to think about at this point? He thought there was definitely a mental preparation aspect to the whole thing, but after discussing with my co-jumper, also a lawyer, we decided it must be our profession that keeps us from getting nervous at attempts at physical endeavors. Put me in a courtroom and I'll be reciting this or that, anticipating arguments, going over easy objections, etc. in my head the entire morning before. But skydiving? Chatter and fun music is all I had to think about.
Blah, blah, blah, 1 orange jumpsuit later and we're up in the plane. I looked like a convict but at least I was visible... I guess. My instructor woman! asked me if I had any questions - as we're climbing up to 10,000 feet of course - and I just wanted to know what happened if she died on my back before she pulled the cord thing. (I swear I'd just seen something on yahoo news or similar about that.) Luckily the chute had a gadget that automatically triggered the parachute if we reached a certain altitude.
As I looked out the window on the way up, I was completely calm. I realized there wasn't one butterfly in my stomach, which was nice because I can't say I feel that way on any normal day, much less a day when I'm about to potentially plummet to my death. We scooted, quite literally, up to the plane door and as we waddled our way forward I had a momentary panic moment (much like I do when I stand on a diving board or when I'm tripping over my shoes at the top of my staircase at home, or ya know, the crack on the sidewalk outside work, whatevs) that I was about to fall. Luckily I didn't have much time for speculation and before I could think to put my hands in front of me to catch myself, I was out. And flying! And all of a sudden realizing I couldn't breathe. Nope, I wasn't flying - I was very quickly suffocating to death. My brain was telling my mouth that of course I could breathe; I was surrounded by air; there was nothing I could do but breathe. But of course my illogical lack of oxygen receiving lungs took over and I panted horribly. Luckily the free fall portion was over relatively quickly. It wasn't a scary experience by any stretch but more of an uncomfortable feeling that passed as soon as the wind stopped hitting me in the face so hard.
And then IT happened. The parachute opened and after the initial lurch and feeling of gravity, I experienced one of the most peaceful, calm, and relaxing few minutes of my entire life. It was pretty remarkable.
I did worry briefly when I saw my friend spiraling crazily downward but apparently that's what we were all doing and it only looked scary from above (so said my tandem jump instructor). There was one weird thing though. As we were getting closer to the ground, my instructor was telling me how to put my feet for landing, etc. I responded "okay" after every instruction she gave. Apparently this caused her some amount of anxiety because she said, "you keep saying 'okay' but are you really okay?" Um, is there some kind of conversation I should be having when I falling toward the earth? Is there a Miss Manners on this subject that I don't know about? What should I have been saying? Not okay? Commenting on last week's episode of Lost? Strange.
We landed on our feet, just like I'd imagine you'd land if you could really fly, about 6 feet away from the guy who unhooked us, so I'm guessing my instructor was pretty accurate. I kept wanting the parachute to collapse all around me so I could come climbing out from underneath it like they do on cartoons but they were too professional for all that.
Things I learned:
1) Wear your hair back and don't let one, single strand get loose. I had quite a few strays and that shit was impossible to brush for hours!
2) Bring your own gloves. I don't know of finger diseases, necessarily, but if there are some, you'd get them sharing general skydiving gloves with all the other scrubby folks who run through that place.
3) Skydiving is the best way ever to have a peaceful day. I had the most relaxing day that I've probably ever had - or at least had in the last few years. I just kept thinking, as I was sitting on the couch reading, "I should really start all my days off like this."
4) If you're an adrenaline junkie, don't skydive. It's not all that adrenaline-enducing. I didn't do it for that purpose, but I was a tad bit surprised I wasn't more hyped up after it was all said and done.
5) Don't talk very much to your instructor. Those fools will do everything in their power to freak your shit out. I didn't encounter it so much with my instructor, but I could see it in others and feel it bubbling just underneath the surface of mine.
6) Always go skydiving (as in go to the location) with someone who won't do it. It really helps with the superiority complex you're bound to have after you're done.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Cartoon figures abound...
I missed King of the Hill last night. Boo. It's a good thing I didn't miss my completely unrealistic, animated character fix though, because I did get to see this goober:
I haven't seen anyone mention it yet but why the hell does he have to talk like that? I felt like I was back in my 9th grade geometry class when the teacher used to put apples with our names on them around the room for good grades.
I also heard Jindal speak on one of the morning news shows over the weekend and he was ridiculous. I hate to even dedicate 5 minutes of my time to discussing him but the fact that he's the Republican party's Obama is beyond laughable. Obama is post-racial. Accept it.
And for your reading pleasure, just in case you wanted to learn what a nutjob Jindal really is and let me just preface this with two words: exorcism and sex. Oh yeah.
FYI, the count down begins. I have approximately 74 hours left before I plummet to the ground in a self-induced mania. Wish me luck!
I haven't seen anyone mention it yet but why the hell does he have to talk like that? I felt like I was back in my 9th grade geometry class when the teacher used to put apples with our names on them around the room for good grades.
I also heard Jindal speak on one of the morning news shows over the weekend and he was ridiculous. I hate to even dedicate 5 minutes of my time to discussing him but the fact that he's the Republican party's Obama is beyond laughable. Obama is post-racial. Accept it.
And for your reading pleasure, just in case you wanted to learn what a nutjob Jindal really is and let me just preface this with two words: exorcism and sex. Oh yeah.
FYI, the count down begins. I have approximately 74 hours left before I plummet to the ground in a self-induced mania. Wish me luck!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Is there such a thing as a love scrooge?
God how I hate Valentine's Day. Even if it's just the day before. One more time: Valentine's Day sucks balls. And not in a good way.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tunde Adebimpe is a funny name...
When I saw Rachel's Getting Married, I had no idea that this guy (who I secretly thought perhaps had some kind of mental disability):
And when I was busy making a stand against corporate America by, ahem, "downloading" TV on the Radio, I had no clue Tunde Adebimpe (same guy in both pics) was an actor as well. Supposedly he's a good actor but to be honest, it's really hard to tell on Rachel's Getting Married. He doesn't really do all that much but look happy, do dishes really quickly, and hide when the yelling starts. Not exactly what his degree at NYU's film school prepared him for, I'm sure.
But then last night, when TV on the Radio was on the Colbert Report, I felt kinda bad when Colbert asked them if they were just in it for the money and they said something akin to: at this point, yes. So I guess I'm off to amazon (still cheaper than iTunes) to *sigh* buy some goddamned music.
Oh and I've recently rediscovered Joan of Arcadia. That shit rocks. And Amber Tamblyn, minus the poetry because I just don't dig poetry, is awesome. She should do more movies or a tv show or something. Maybe she could join Gossip Girl and reunite with Blake Lively? I'd like something more substantial though... Maybe she can take Izzie's place on Grey's Anatomy? But only if GA gets some good writing again. I'm desperate for a new Gilmore Girls or Veronica Mars. She should do something like that. Where is her agent and why doesn't s/he read this blog?
Was one of these guys:
And when I was busy making a stand against corporate America by, ahem, "downloading" TV on the Radio, I had no clue Tunde Adebimpe (same guy in both pics) was an actor as well. Supposedly he's a good actor but to be honest, it's really hard to tell on Rachel's Getting Married. He doesn't really do all that much but look happy, do dishes really quickly, and hide when the yelling starts. Not exactly what his degree at NYU's film school prepared him for, I'm sure.
But then last night, when TV on the Radio was on the Colbert Report, I felt kinda bad when Colbert asked them if they were just in it for the money and they said something akin to: at this point, yes. So I guess I'm off to amazon (still cheaper than iTunes) to *sigh* buy some goddamned music.
Oh and I've recently rediscovered Joan of Arcadia. That shit rocks. And Amber Tamblyn, minus the poetry because I just don't dig poetry, is awesome. She should do more movies or a tv show or something. Maybe she could join Gossip Girl and reunite with Blake Lively? I'd like something more substantial though... Maybe she can take Izzie's place on Grey's Anatomy? But only if GA gets some good writing again. I'm desperate for a new Gilmore Girls or Veronica Mars. She should do something like that. Where is her agent and why doesn't s/he read this blog?
Thursday, February 05, 2009
On the art of skydiving...
In a few short weeks, this will be me:
Except I'll be diving in tandem and hopefully won't be upside down. And I'll be much cooler, of course.
Or if my mom is right, this could be me:
Except a girl and hopefully not a cartoon.
But if I do get smartly turned into a cartoon, I'm coming back as this:
or more likely this:
So the point is, I'm going skydiving. I've decided not to bother being scared until the actual day. Until then I'm just going to enjoy the idea of doing something most people are way to chickenshit to try. Except Bush Sr. He's not too chicken shit to try it - multiple times. I wonder if it's a death wish to get away from Barbara?
Monday, February 02, 2009
So weddings...
Love 'em. (Given I like the couple getting married, of course.) I think they're fun and I like the planning phases. Wedding gowns? Beautiful. Love the shopping-for-them-part and the walking-down-the-aisle-in-them-part.
Here's the rub: I have no interest in getting married anytime soon (if ever). I also could never, in a million years, wear a wedding dress in any popular shape and/or form. Except for the party part, I could never tolerate the actual act of getting married. I do think tiaras and registries are cool though (if I was the one getting the gifts). I wish I could wear a tiara for other occasions. And register for like my birthday or something. That would be very worthwhile.
Here's my point: I think it's only possible to be really, truly happy for another person when the thing that they're getting/achieving is nothing you'd ever want in a million years. Or possibly if it's something you already have or already achieved. If you disagree, leave examples. Otherwise I won't believe you.
Here's the rub: I have no interest in getting married anytime soon (if ever). I also could never, in a million years, wear a wedding dress in any popular shape and/or form. Except for the party part, I could never tolerate the actual act of getting married. I do think tiaras and registries are cool though (if I was the one getting the gifts). I wish I could wear a tiara for other occasions. And register for like my birthday or something. That would be very worthwhile.
Here's my point: I think it's only possible to be really, truly happy for another person when the thing that they're getting/achieving is nothing you'd ever want in a million years. Or possibly if it's something you already have or already achieved. If you disagree, leave examples. Otherwise I won't believe you.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Random Office Place Fears...
#1. Being the only person in a smelly bathroom and having other people come in, thinking it was you who made said bathroom smelly.
#2. Scarfing down soup right before a big meeting (because you're such a busy, worker bee) and having something in your teeth the entire meeting.
#3. Spilling your giant bottle of water/cup of coffee/can of diet soda all over original documents.
#4. Having your doctor's nurse call you back while your office is full of people.
#5. Attempting to move the wires to a computer in front of a big inter-office meeting (in a skirt) and falling on your face in the process.
#6. Spilling part of your South Beach peanut butter protein bar on your office chair, attempting to mop it up with lots of water and napkins, and leaving a big, wet spot on your chair that never, ever dries making it look like you peed your chair.
#7. This one needs a preamble: So let's say you dressed quickly in the morning and only as you were getting ready to leave did you notice that the lining for your skirt and/or dress was inching out under your hem (damn shrinkage). You decide to pin up the portion of the lining that's sticking out only you can't find any pins. Starting to panic, because you're already late, you notice a stack of fake, trashy clip-on earrings from a recent Halloween costume. Now on the fear - you are presenting a very important issue in front of a boss you really want to impress and when you stand up, random earring bits start to fall from under your dress.
#8. Scratching your nose when someone walks by your office and looks in mistaking your scratch for a pick.
#9. Accidentally calling your boss a douchebag. To his face.
#10. That someone might actually ask you about all the fancy books you put on your bookshelf but have never really read.
Absolutely none of these happened to me.
#2. Scarfing down soup right before a big meeting (because you're such a busy, worker bee) and having something in your teeth the entire meeting.
#3. Spilling your giant bottle of water/cup of coffee/can of diet soda all over original documents.
#4. Having your doctor's nurse call you back while your office is full of people.
#5. Attempting to move the wires to a computer in front of a big inter-office meeting (in a skirt) and falling on your face in the process.
#6. Spilling part of your South Beach peanut butter protein bar on your office chair, attempting to mop it up with lots of water and napkins, and leaving a big, wet spot on your chair that never, ever dries making it look like you peed your chair.
#7. This one needs a preamble: So let's say you dressed quickly in the morning and only as you were getting ready to leave did you notice that the lining for your skirt and/or dress was inching out under your hem (damn shrinkage). You decide to pin up the portion of the lining that's sticking out only you can't find any pins. Starting to panic, because you're already late, you notice a stack of fake, trashy clip-on earrings from a recent Halloween costume. Now on the fear - you are presenting a very important issue in front of a boss you really want to impress and when you stand up, random earring bits start to fall from under your dress.
#8. Scratching your nose when someone walks by your office and looks in mistaking your scratch for a pick.
#9. Accidentally calling your boss a douchebag. To his face.
#10. That someone might actually ask you about all the fancy books you put on your bookshelf but have never really read.
Absolutely none of these happened to me.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
6 Random things about me...
1. I absolutely CANNOT deal with talking about normal, bodily functions. Although I like to think I hide it well, I get as embarassed as the time I heard my mom talking about sex with my dad. I also think one should whisper when discussing such things so one will not be overheard.
2. Making lists and parenthetical references are seriously some of my best/worst writing habits. Take your pick. (FYI, I used the word seriously waay before Grey's Anatomy became popular.)
3. I am afraid to put my blog on my facebook page for fear that one of my facebook friends (or people I used to know 10+ years ago) or family members might see it and realize I'd been writing about them every now and again. Oops. Must compartmentalize.
4. I never use up anything, ever. I always throw it away when it's almost completely empty because I can't wait to open the new thing (i.e. lotions, shampoo, hair products, etc.).
5. I got in another person's argument over the validity of Kanye West at a New Year's Eve party and I cannot. let. it. go.
6. I can tell you the number of stairs in almost any building I frequent. My house? 14. The boy's apartment? 44 (actually it's 43 but I add a fake 44th step because you can't have an odd number of steps or the building will fall down). Parking garage at work? 20 (technically 21 if you count the first step/landing thing but I don't count it because, again, odd numbered stairs make the building come crumbling down). Stairwell at work? 11 for each staircase and there are 2 staircases per flight, so 22.
I'm tagging Blondie at PinkHondaCivic and LK at Pieces on the Ground. My tagger was blooming wildflowers.
The guidelines: Link to your tagger, share 6 random things about yourself, tag a few others (be sure to tell them). And of course, post the rules.
2. Making lists and parenthetical references are seriously some of my best/worst writing habits. Take your pick. (FYI, I used the word seriously waay before Grey's Anatomy became popular.)
3. I am afraid to put my blog on my facebook page for fear that one of my facebook friends (or people I used to know 10+ years ago) or family members might see it and realize I'd been writing about them every now and again. Oops. Must compartmentalize.
4. I never use up anything, ever. I always throw it away when it's almost completely empty because I can't wait to open the new thing (i.e. lotions, shampoo, hair products, etc.).
5. I got in another person's argument over the validity of Kanye West at a New Year's Eve party and I cannot. let. it. go.
6. I can tell you the number of stairs in almost any building I frequent. My house? 14. The boy's apartment? 44 (actually it's 43 but I add a fake 44th step because you can't have an odd number of steps or the building will fall down). Parking garage at work? 20 (technically 21 if you count the first step/landing thing but I don't count it because, again, odd numbered stairs make the building come crumbling down). Stairwell at work? 11 for each staircase and there are 2 staircases per flight, so 22.
I'm tagging Blondie at PinkHondaCivic and LK at Pieces on the Ground. My tagger was blooming wildflowers.
The guidelines: Link to your tagger, share 6 random things about yourself, tag a few others (be sure to tell them). And of course, post the rules.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
He's still ahead...
I give Obama a score of 101. (I'm giving him 1 extra point based on pure, unadulterated love.)
As of last Tuesday he had a +1 score for reasons discussed above. A recap (in no particular order and definitely not exhaustive) of points gained and lost in one week.
Gain - first dance with Michelle. Beyonce expressed real emotion and so did I. I was tempted to make this a loss, because it was too pathetic that Beyonce moved me but that's not really Obama's fault... I guess.
102
Gain - Mexico City Gag Rule Repealed (Washington Post article). I've been on about this issue since law school although I cared more about the loss of funding the UN Population Fund. But a gain nonetheless.
103
Loss - overuse of the phrase "an abundance of caution" by White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. I happened to be home sick when his first press conference aired. The stupid pc word choice has already made its way into popular vernacular and I don't like it. If you're going to be in front of the press, Mr. Gibbs, learn new ways to say the same, old thing.
102
Gain - closing Gitmo.
103
Loss - taking a year to do it.
102
Gain - making sure Citigroup sent that goddamned jet back. He gets 2 points for this one, because he was just so cool about it.
104
Loss - caving to the conservatives re: birth control in his kazillion dollar relief package (or stimulus, whatever). This pisses me right the hell off. I'd take away 3 points for this but for the fact that both he and Pelosi said the legislation will be reintroduced at a later date. It ticks me off so much when I hear conservatives manipulate an issue like this. All the provision did was allow states to provide contraceptive services to poor women without a huge red tape hullabaloo. (States can already do this but it requires lots of paperwork.) Does he even need Republican support for his stimulus package? He can get it passed easily enough and if those idiot Repubs (not all but some) are going to block an entire package because of misstated socioeconomic bigotry, so be it. Let them be the asses of this story. As is Obama (and Pelosi) get their first serious black marks.
Final Tally: 102
So he's still ahead by 2 points, but I'm ending on a disappointing note. I felt really strongly about the Citigroup jet thing too, so I'll have to try and not let one weak moment cloud my judgment. Especially if he gets the legislation passed at a later date. He'll earn back those points then.
As of last Tuesday he had a +1 score for reasons discussed above. A recap (in no particular order and definitely not exhaustive) of points gained and lost in one week.
Gain - first dance with Michelle. Beyonce expressed real emotion and so did I. I was tempted to make this a loss, because it was too pathetic that Beyonce moved me but that's not really Obama's fault... I guess.
102
Gain - Mexico City Gag Rule Repealed (Washington Post article). I've been on about this issue since law school although I cared more about the loss of funding the UN Population Fund. But a gain nonetheless.
103
Loss - overuse of the phrase "an abundance of caution" by White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. I happened to be home sick when his first press conference aired. The stupid pc word choice has already made its way into popular vernacular and I don't like it. If you're going to be in front of the press, Mr. Gibbs, learn new ways to say the same, old thing.
102
Gain - closing Gitmo.
103
Loss - taking a year to do it.
102
Gain - making sure Citigroup sent that goddamned jet back. He gets 2 points for this one, because he was just so cool about it.
104
Loss - caving to the conservatives re: birth control in his kazillion dollar relief package (or stimulus, whatever). This pisses me right the hell off. I'd take away 3 points for this but for the fact that both he and Pelosi said the legislation will be reintroduced at a later date. It ticks me off so much when I hear conservatives manipulate an issue like this. All the provision did was allow states to provide contraceptive services to poor women without a huge red tape hullabaloo. (States can already do this but it requires lots of paperwork.) Does he even need Republican support for his stimulus package? He can get it passed easily enough and if those idiot Repubs (not all but some) are going to block an entire package because of misstated socioeconomic bigotry, so be it. Let them be the asses of this story. As is Obama (and Pelosi) get their first serious black marks.
Final Tally: 102
So he's still ahead by 2 points, but I'm ending on a disappointing note. I felt really strongly about the Citigroup jet thing too, so I'll have to try and not let one weak moment cloud my judgment. Especially if he gets the legislation passed at a later date. He'll earn back those points then.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Oh shit this is funny...
I stole this from Pop Candy and she stole it from... I forget who but damn I laughed a lot.
Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.
Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.
I can only hear out of one ear...
and apparently that's normal when sickness invades the body. I knew last week was too good to be true. I paid for all my bad juju wishing (on the Bush) by contracting the mack daddy of all colds. Lucky me. Oh well. At least I got to eat ice cream. I mean, if you have a ravaged throat, what else are you supposed to eat, right? I don't know what Samosas are (other than that they're Girl Scout cookies), but this ice cream is the best evah! We won't talk about all the other things one resorts to when bored but unable to leave one's domain...
Okay a compromise: She's prettier but he's hotter. Unless he's prettier. I'm unsure again.
Gonzo
But I did manage to finish Season 2 of The Tudors. I cried at the end, which made my already swollen and puffy face even more swollen and puffy. The woman who played Queen Anne is so pretty. I hated to see her pretty head cut off. Damn that King Henry. As an aside, I can never say "King Henry" out loud without singing his pretty, little diddy "Henry the VIII, I am, I am..." Oh and apparently on Who The Tudor Are You? I'm a Noble. I can live with that. For another 21 years, it seems. I didn't ask the stupid quiz to predict my death. Damn them. Oh and can we say beautiful people? I'm not sure who I like more...
Okay a compromise: She's prettier but he's hotter. Unless he's prettier. I'm unsure again.
I also watched the first two parts of the John Adams mini-series, mastered bit torrent downloading (finally!), discovered two new cds, lusted after Fernando Gonzalez and Rafa Nadal (they grow on you at 4:30 in the morning when the Australian Open is at its peak), did 7 loads of laundry, had an official taste test to finally decide if aged gouda or gruyere is the better cheese (gruyere wins), and decided where I'll put my new shoe rack when the beautiful new Orla Keily stuff arrives at Target.
For your viewing pleasure:
Gonzoand Rafa:
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Signed, Sealed, Delivered, He's Ours...
And it's official! It's a good day. I'm officially NOT disgruntled - for once.
Some random thoughts:
1. I think I saw Starr Jones bragging on Fox News about being in the "orange" section to see Obama get sworn in. I have no clue if that's good or bad, but I'm guessing if she made a point to say it, it must be good. Lame. (Secretly jealous though.)
2. Alicia Keys wore a short dress to a very obviously black tie, possibly white tie affair. It's an inaugural ball, for god's sake. Wear something floor-length, will you?
3. I loved the silver, gunmetal color of Beyonce's nails. I really loved how she cried while singing to the First Couple. I cried too. I'm such a sap.
4. I love how they seem so intimate even though millions of people are watching them. If it's an act, it's an exceptionally good one. (I think it's real.)
5. There was one douche at the Youth Ball wearing a striped, polo shirt. Give me a goddamnned break, right? How did that guy get in? He couldn't get into a tacky Las Vegas club but he could get into an inaugural ball?
6. I'm not from Chicago or anything but the Cubs are my 2nd favorite team. I don't hate the White Sox or anything but come on, Mr. President (ooohh, I love writing that!), don't start off your Presidency hating on the Cubbies. They're cursed enough as it is.
7. Jon Stewart is exceptionally funny unless Samantha Bee is around and then he just plain sucks.
8. Saddleback sounds waaay too much like bareback for me to even begin to take Rev. Warren's gay-hating seriously.
9. The first openly gay bishop of the Episcopal church (on The Daily Show) is wearing a pink shirt and bares a striking resemblance to Elton John. Coincidence or bad joke?
10. Oddly enough, Fox News had way better inaugural ball coverage than any of the other news channels. Shocking. The coverage was incredibly public access, if you will, but extensive.
11. So that poem the female poet I should probably not admit I don't know read? Not the best. I'll have to read it to make a final decision, but rhythmic poetry just doesn't translate well to the masses.
12. Texas just gained a new full-time citizen. I guess you could say we're taking one for the team.
Some random thoughts:
1. I think I saw Starr Jones bragging on Fox News about being in the "orange" section to see Obama get sworn in. I have no clue if that's good or bad, but I'm guessing if she made a point to say it, it must be good. Lame. (Secretly jealous though.)
2. Alicia Keys wore a short dress to a very obviously black tie, possibly white tie affair. It's an inaugural ball, for god's sake. Wear something floor-length, will you?
3. I loved the silver, gunmetal color of Beyonce's nails. I really loved how she cried while singing to the First Couple. I cried too. I'm such a sap.
4. I love how they seem so intimate even though millions of people are watching them. If it's an act, it's an exceptionally good one. (I think it's real.)
5. There was one douche at the Youth Ball wearing a striped, polo shirt. Give me a goddamnned break, right? How did that guy get in? He couldn't get into a tacky Las Vegas club but he could get into an inaugural ball?
6. I'm not from Chicago or anything but the Cubs are my 2nd favorite team. I don't hate the White Sox or anything but come on, Mr. President (ooohh, I love writing that!), don't start off your Presidency hating on the Cubbies. They're cursed enough as it is.
7. Jon Stewart is exceptionally funny unless Samantha Bee is around and then he just plain sucks.
8. Saddleback sounds waaay too much like bareback for me to even begin to take Rev. Warren's gay-hating seriously.
9. The first openly gay bishop of the Episcopal church (on The Daily Show) is wearing a pink shirt and bares a striking resemblance to Elton John. Coincidence or bad joke?
10. Oddly enough, Fox News had way better inaugural ball coverage than any of the other news channels. Shocking. The coverage was incredibly public access, if you will, but extensive.
11. So that poem the female poet I should probably not admit I don't know read? Not the best. I'll have to read it to make a final decision, but rhythmic poetry just doesn't translate well to the masses.
12. Texas just gained a new full-time citizen. I guess you could say we're taking one for the team.
Friday, January 16, 2009
God how I hate BBQ...
How much food does it take to feed a party of 22? In my mom's world, it takes 6.5 lbs of cow, 4 half birds, and 10 lbs of miscellaneous pork parts wrapped in edible condoms. Not to mention sides and desserts.
If you ever wondered why Texas is top 5 in obesity it's because of the above. That's basically a pound of meat (just meat!) per person plus sides plus desserts. I say desserts plural because there will be many cakes and pies, as a southern family is want to do. (Technically we're west, not south, but we eat like poor, southern people so that works better for description's sake.)
I scoured the internet for the proper amount of food per person for a party. I came up with 1/4 lb of meat (or 1/2 lb if it's boned meat). Basically my family eats 4 x what the normal person would eat. It's quite gross actually.
I will not eat any of it, of course. I don't eat cow; I try to avoid sausage parts; and meat on a bone grosses me out. I thought about going to a local place and getting some wheat roast (fake meat) to see if anyone would notice, but I knew they would and I'd never live it down. Once your good food reputation is lost in my family, it's lost forever. (They still talk about the time my mother tried to make Stouffer's Stuffing at Thanksgiving one year and that was over 30 years ago!)
I tried to find a picture of 20 lbs of meat but the images grossed me out so bad I had to take a moment. So no pics.
Meat is gross.
If you ever wondered why Texas is top 5 in obesity it's because of the above. That's basically a pound of meat (just meat!) per person plus sides plus desserts. I say desserts plural because there will be many cakes and pies, as a southern family is want to do. (Technically we're west, not south, but we eat like poor, southern people so that works better for description's sake.)
I scoured the internet for the proper amount of food per person for a party. I came up with 1/4 lb of meat (or 1/2 lb if it's boned meat). Basically my family eats 4 x what the normal person would eat. It's quite gross actually.
I will not eat any of it, of course. I don't eat cow; I try to avoid sausage parts; and meat on a bone grosses me out. I thought about going to a local place and getting some wheat roast (fake meat) to see if anyone would notice, but I knew they would and I'd never live it down. Once your good food reputation is lost in my family, it's lost forever. (They still talk about the time my mother tried to make Stouffer's Stuffing at Thanksgiving one year and that was over 30 years ago!)
I tried to find a picture of 20 lbs of meat but the images grossed me out so bad I had to take a moment. So no pics.
Meat is gross.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
If I were going to the inauguration...
I'd wear this:
But with better hair and possibly in a deep, royal/peacock blue. I'd prefer a royal blue with the iridescent parts in peacock blue. Damn, I'd look good next to Obama. Not, you know, in place of Michelle, per se, just for pictures and what not.
But with better hair and possibly in a deep, royal/peacock blue. I'd prefer a royal blue with the iridescent parts in peacock blue. Damn, I'd look good next to Obama. Not, you know, in place of Michelle, per se, just for pictures and what not.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Permanently disgruntled? Perhaps.
Never buy from Barnes & Noble online or ship via UPS. I ordered a ton of books (9 or 10, which is a ton for me) on 12/26. I used 3 day air and paid via PayPal, mainly because I was too lazy to get up and get my debit card and PayPal was an easy click away. Then the problems started:
1. They charged Paypal oh, half a dozen times. I have no clue why.
2. They didn't ship for 5 days even though it should have already been at my house 2 days before they even decided to ship.
3. They split my order into 2 packages, which is ordinarily fine, but in the case of B&N, they decide to inform you 7 days after your package should have already arrived that they are splitting your order up even though they already sent out confirmation emails on everything.
4. UPS drops off a lovely, yellow InfoNotice, because oddly I was not at home from the hours of 2 to 5 in the middle of a work day. Odd.
5. UPS man/woman checks "A signature is required on delivery." I look to the back to read the instructions to make sure this is the one where I can just sign, not necessarily in person. It says, "If the 'A signature is required on delivery' box is checked, the driver must receive a signature either in person or by signing below." So I sign below and leave it for the driver.
6. The driver does not leave my package the next day and instead leaves a final notice. Great. (This was Tuesday.)
7. Wednesday evening I get home and there's a lovely book on my doorstep. Yes! No InfoNotice, no nothing. It's only 1 book and I remember that B&N split my order in two but still. I have 1 piece!
8. I'm about to travel over lunch to the boonies, where the UPS is oh-so conveniently located, when I decide to double check my tracking number online.
9. Hmmm... that's weird. It appears that my package is in fucking Pennsylvania. Rana - want some books?
10. I call the 800 number knowing my anger will most likely get the better of me and get a return phone call within an hour, as per policy.
11. The local UPS woman tells me the shipper insists on getting a signature in person. I politely (I think) inform the UPS woman that that was not the box that was checked on the multiple InfoNotices on my doors.
12. Then the local UPS woman decides that the driver must not have felt it was a safe location to leave a package, so that's why he didn't pay attention to the signature on the notice. I mention the package delivered the day before, just left on my doorstep, from UPS, presumably the same driver. I also mention how UPS packages are left on mine and my neighbors' doorsteps practically every week (I have 4 neighbors in my fourplex), so I doubt the usual driver has an issue with safety.
13. With no response, she informs me I must call the 800 number back and ask them to "intercept" my package. She apparently can't intercept my package and my only other option is to contact B&N and try to convince them to send me another package. Did I mention a couple of the books I ordered were 1 or 3 or some such low stock bullshit?
14. I call the 800 number. Oops. They can't do an intercept. I have to call the shipper.
Fucking shit, man. Now I have to call B&N, the original fuck-up and demand they send me my books all over again?
I hate B&N and UPS. I'm officially disgruntled. I can't even remember what books I ordered anymore. Damn.
1. They charged Paypal oh, half a dozen times. I have no clue why.
2. They didn't ship for 5 days even though it should have already been at my house 2 days before they even decided to ship.
3. They split my order into 2 packages, which is ordinarily fine, but in the case of B&N, they decide to inform you 7 days after your package should have already arrived that they are splitting your order up even though they already sent out confirmation emails on everything.
4. UPS drops off a lovely, yellow InfoNotice, because oddly I was not at home from the hours of 2 to 5 in the middle of a work day. Odd.
5. UPS man/woman checks "A signature is required on delivery." I look to the back to read the instructions to make sure this is the one where I can just sign, not necessarily in person. It says, "If the 'A signature is required on delivery' box is checked, the driver must receive a signature either in person or by signing below." So I sign below and leave it for the driver.
6. The driver does not leave my package the next day and instead leaves a final notice. Great. (This was Tuesday.)
7. Wednesday evening I get home and there's a lovely book on my doorstep. Yes! No InfoNotice, no nothing. It's only 1 book and I remember that B&N split my order in two but still. I have 1 piece!
8. I'm about to travel over lunch to the boonies, where the UPS is oh-so conveniently located, when I decide to double check my tracking number online.
9. Hmmm... that's weird. It appears that my package is in fucking Pennsylvania. Rana - want some books?
10. I call the 800 number knowing my anger will most likely get the better of me and get a return phone call within an hour, as per policy.
11. The local UPS woman tells me the shipper insists on getting a signature in person. I politely (I think) inform the UPS woman that that was not the box that was checked on the multiple InfoNotices on my doors.
12. Then the local UPS woman decides that the driver must not have felt it was a safe location to leave a package, so that's why he didn't pay attention to the signature on the notice. I mention the package delivered the day before, just left on my doorstep, from UPS, presumably the same driver. I also mention how UPS packages are left on mine and my neighbors' doorsteps practically every week (I have 4 neighbors in my fourplex), so I doubt the usual driver has an issue with safety.
13. With no response, she informs me I must call the 800 number back and ask them to "intercept" my package. She apparently can't intercept my package and my only other option is to contact B&N and try to convince them to send me another package. Did I mention a couple of the books I ordered were 1 or 3 or some such low stock bullshit?
14. I call the 800 number. Oops. They can't do an intercept. I have to call the shipper.
Fucking shit, man. Now I have to call B&N, the original fuck-up and demand they send me my books all over again?
I hate B&N and UPS. I'm officially disgruntled. I can't even remember what books I ordered anymore. Damn.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
And I'm back.
After a 6ish week blog break, I've finally mustered up the energy (time?) to come up with more dumb shit to say. Lucky me. Lucky everyone else.
Dumb shit #1: New Year's Resolutions. I made some. I can't remember all of them (always happens to things I get excited about), but the highlights are:
1. Be more crafty. So far - success! I've made 4 crafty things this year. 2 of them turned out halfway decently. The other 2 aren't even good enough to give away for free. Oh well. It happens. I'm hoping for enough crafty items to start an etsy account, but right now that's only a hope.
2. Cook more. So far - success! I cooked a pot of beans over the weekend. Yep, that's it. The sad thing is that one cooking attempt in 7 days counts as a success. Well it does. I really, really don't cook, okay?
3. Go to the gym more starting January 5th. (Hey I'm not dumb enough to start a fitness New Year's resolution when I'm still hungover from a NY Eve party. I have priorities.) So far - success! I went Monday, I'm going today, and I have a pilates class this evening. I keep flucuating on what my goal should be. Should I aim for the ultimate - 6 days a week? Or should I aim for 3 and hope for more? I'm unsure as to what my failure rate might be, so I'm unsure where to set goals. I have strict philosophies about not letting myself down, which usually equates to not setting really high goals. Oh and writing things down on a to-do list that I've already done and scratching them all off. I like to feel successful too.
4. Be more budget-minded. So far - success! I spent most of last week at work (stupid holiday weeks when everyone else is on vacation) creating a year-long budget for myself. This isn't really too difficult to do because I budget every month. It's just that now I've decided to spend only cash, which I hope will make my lack of memory not be the reason I've blown my budget this month. (I never, ever remember all of my debit card purchases, even if I keep the receipts.)
5. Join the local community orchestra. So far - failure. I suck. 'Nuff said about that.
6. Volunteer more. So far - failure. I've done nothing except buy some cheap Soy Joy bars (seriously, like $.74 for 6 boxes!) that I intend to donate to the food bank. Only I'm not terribly sure where the food bank is. So that's another obstacle.
Here's to wishing success in the new year! I also plan on figuring out how to make my computer run faster but that's not a new year's resolution, just an I'm-going-to-fucking-throw-this-fucking-thing-across-the-fucking-room resolution, ya know?
Dumb shit #1: New Year's Resolutions. I made some. I can't remember all of them (always happens to things I get excited about), but the highlights are:
1. Be more crafty. So far - success! I've made 4 crafty things this year. 2 of them turned out halfway decently. The other 2 aren't even good enough to give away for free. Oh well. It happens. I'm hoping for enough crafty items to start an etsy account, but right now that's only a hope.
2. Cook more. So far - success! I cooked a pot of beans over the weekend. Yep, that's it. The sad thing is that one cooking attempt in 7 days counts as a success. Well it does. I really, really don't cook, okay?
3. Go to the gym more starting January 5th. (Hey I'm not dumb enough to start a fitness New Year's resolution when I'm still hungover from a NY Eve party. I have priorities.) So far - success! I went Monday, I'm going today, and I have a pilates class this evening. I keep flucuating on what my goal should be. Should I aim for the ultimate - 6 days a week? Or should I aim for 3 and hope for more? I'm unsure as to what my failure rate might be, so I'm unsure where to set goals. I have strict philosophies about not letting myself down, which usually equates to not setting really high goals. Oh and writing things down on a to-do list that I've already done and scratching them all off. I like to feel successful too.
4. Be more budget-minded. So far - success! I spent most of last week at work (stupid holiday weeks when everyone else is on vacation) creating a year-long budget for myself. This isn't really too difficult to do because I budget every month. It's just that now I've decided to spend only cash, which I hope will make my lack of memory not be the reason I've blown my budget this month. (I never, ever remember all of my debit card purchases, even if I keep the receipts.)
5. Join the local community orchestra. So far - failure. I suck. 'Nuff said about that.
6. Volunteer more. So far - failure. I've done nothing except buy some cheap Soy Joy bars (seriously, like $.74 for 6 boxes!) that I intend to donate to the food bank. Only I'm not terribly sure where the food bank is. So that's another obstacle.
Here's to wishing success in the new year! I also plan on figuring out how to make my computer run faster but that's not a new year's resolution, just an I'm-going-to-fucking-throw-this-fucking-thing-across-the-fucking-room resolution, ya know?
Friday, November 14, 2008
Colbert Slays Me!
Last night was the best Colbert of all time. It's as if he directed his show to me. Or at least parts of it. There was Pope humor, Footprints humor (haha!), and best of all, Jane Austen humor. I died. I am officially dead now. It was awesome.
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