Random Office Place Fears...

#1. Being the only person in a smelly bathroom and having other people come in, thinking it was you who made said bathroom smelly.

#2. Scarfing down soup right before a big meeting (because you're such a busy, worker bee) and having something in your teeth the entire meeting.

#3. Spilling your giant bottle of water/cup of coffee/can of diet soda all over original documents.

#4. Having your doctor's nurse call you back while your office is full of people.

#5. Attempting to move the wires to a computer in front of a big inter-office meeting (in a skirt) and falling on your face in the process.

#6. Spilling part of your South Beach peanut butter protein bar on your office chair, attempting to mop it up with lots of water and napkins, and leaving a big, wet spot on your chair that never, ever dries making it look like you peed your chair.

#7. This one needs a preamble: So let's say you dressed quickly in the morning and only as you were getting ready to leave did you notice that the lining for your skirt and/or dress was inching out under your hem (damn shrinkage). You decide to pin up the portion of the lining that's sticking out only you can't find any pins. Starting to panic, because you're already late, you notice a stack of fake, trashy clip-on earrings from a recent Halloween costume. Now on the fear - you are presenting a very important issue in front of a boss you really want to impress and when you stand up, random earring bits start to fall from under your dress.

#8. Scratching your nose when someone walks by your office and looks in mistaking your scratch for a pick.

#9. Accidentally calling your boss a douchebag. To his face.

#10. That someone might actually ask you about all the fancy books you put on your bookshelf but have never really read.

Absolutely none of these happened to me.

6 Random things about me...

1. I absolutely CANNOT deal with talking about normal, bodily functions. Although I like to think I hide it well, I get as embarassed as the time I heard my mom talking about sex with my dad. I also think one should whisper when discussing such things so one will not be overheard.

2. Making lists and parenthetical references are seriously some of my best/worst writing habits. Take your pick. (FYI, I used the word seriously waay before Grey's Anatomy became popular.)

3. I am afraid to put my blog on my facebook page for fear that one of my facebook friends (or people I used to know 10+ years ago) or family members might see it and realize I'd been writing about them every now and again. Oops. Must compartmentalize.

4. I never use up anything, ever. I always throw it away when it's almost completely empty because I can't wait to open the new thing (i.e. lotions, shampoo, hair products, etc.).

5. I got in another person's argument over the validity of Kanye West at a New Year's Eve party and I cannot. let. it. go.

6. I can tell you the number of stairs in almost any building I frequent. My house? 14. The boy's apartment? 44 (actually it's 43 but I add a fake 44th step because you can't have an odd number of steps or the building will fall down). Parking garage at work? 20 (technically 21 if you count the first step/landing thing but I don't count it because, again, odd numbered stairs make the building come crumbling down). Stairwell at work? 11 for each staircase and there are 2 staircases per flight, so 22.

I'm tagging Blondie at PinkHondaCivic and LK at Pieces on the Ground. My tagger was blooming wildflowers.

The guidelines: Link to your tagger, share 6 random things about yourself, tag a few others (be sure to tell them). And of course, post the rules.

He's still ahead...

I give Obama a score of 101. (I'm giving him 1 extra point based on pure, unadulterated love.)

As of last Tuesday he had a +1 score for reasons discussed above. A recap (in no particular order and definitely not exhaustive) of points gained and lost in one week.

Gain - first dance with Michelle. Beyonce expressed real emotion and so did I. I was tempted to make this a loss, because it was too pathetic that Beyonce moved me but that's not really Obama's fault... I guess.

102

Gain - Mexico City Gag Rule Repealed (Washington Post article). I've been on about this issue since law school although I cared more about the loss of funding the UN Population Fund. But a gain nonetheless.

103

Loss - overuse of the phrase "an abundance of caution" by White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. I happened to be home sick when his first press conference aired. The stupid pc word choice has already made its way into popular vernacular and I don't like it. If you're going to be in front of the press, Mr. Gibbs, learn new ways to say the same, old thing.

102

Gain - closing Gitmo.

103

Loss - taking a year to do it.

102

Gain - making sure Citigroup sent that goddamned jet back. He gets 2 points for this one, because he was just so cool about it.

104

Loss - caving to the conservatives re: birth control in his kazillion dollar relief package (or stimulus, whatever). This pisses me right the hell off. I'd take away 3 points for this but for the fact that both he and Pelosi said the legislation will be reintroduced at a later date. It ticks me off so much when I hear conservatives manipulate an issue like this. All the provision did was allow states to provide contraceptive services to poor women without a huge red tape hullabaloo. (States can already do this but it requires lots of paperwork.) Does he even need Republican support for his stimulus package? He can get it passed easily enough and if those idiot Repubs (not all but some) are going to block an entire package because of misstated socioeconomic bigotry, so be it. Let them be the asses of this story. As is Obama (and Pelosi) get their first serious black marks.

Final Tally: 102

So he's still ahead by 2 points, but I'm ending on a disappointing note. I felt really strongly about the Citigroup jet thing too, so I'll have to try and not let one weak moment cloud my judgment. Especially if he gets the legislation passed at a later date. He'll earn back those points then.

Oh shit this is funny...

I stole this from Pop Candy and she stole it from... I forget who but damn I laughed a lot.

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

I can only hear out of one ear...

and apparently that's normal when sickness invades the body. I knew last week was too good to be true. I paid for all my bad juju wishing (on the Bush) by contracting the mack daddy of all colds. Lucky me. Oh well. At least I got to eat ice cream. I mean, if you have a ravaged throat, what else are you supposed to eat, right? I don't know what Samosas are (other than that they're Girl Scout cookies), but this ice cream is the best evah! We won't talk about all the other things one resorts to when bored but unable to leave one's domain...

But I did manage to finish Season 2 of The Tudors. I cried at the end, which made my already swollen and puffy face even more swollen and puffy. The woman who played Queen Anne is so pretty. I hated to see her pretty head cut off. Damn that King Henry. As an aside, I can never say "King Henry" out loud without singing his pretty, little diddy "Henry the VIII, I am, I am..." Oh and apparently on Who The Tudor Are You? I'm a Noble. I can live with that. For another 21 years, it seems. I didn't ask the stupid quiz to predict my death. Damn them. Oh and can we say beautiful people? I'm not sure who I like more...

Okay a compromise: She's prettier but he's hotter. Unless he's prettier. I'm unsure again.

I also watched the first two parts of the John Adams mini-series, mastered bit torrent downloading (finally!), discovered two new cds, lusted after Fernando Gonzalez and Rafa Nadal (they grow on you at 4:30 in the morning when the Australian Open is at its peak), did 7 loads of laundry, had an official taste test to finally decide if aged gouda or gruyere is the better cheese (gruyere wins), and decided where I'll put my new shoe rack when the beautiful new Orla Keily stuff arrives at Target.

For your viewing pleasure:

Gonzo

and Rafa:

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, He's Ours...

And it's official! It's a good day. I'm officially NOT disgruntled - for once.

Some random thoughts:

1. I think I saw Starr Jones bragging on Fox News about being in the "orange" section to see Obama get sworn in. I have no clue if that's good or bad, but I'm guessing if she made a point to say it, it must be good. Lame. (Secretly jealous though.)

2. Alicia Keys wore a short dress to a very obviously black tie, possibly white tie affair. It's an inaugural ball, for god's sake. Wear something floor-length, will you?

3. I loved the silver, gunmetal color of Beyonce's nails. I really loved how she cried while singing to the First Couple. I cried too. I'm such a sap.

4. I love how they seem so intimate even though millions of people are watching them. If it's an act, it's an exceptionally good one. (I think it's real.)

5. There was one douche at the Youth Ball wearing a striped, polo shirt. Give me a goddamnned break, right? How did that guy get in? He couldn't get into a tacky Las Vegas club but he could get into an inaugural ball?

6. I'm not from Chicago or anything but the Cubs are my 2nd favorite team. I don't hate the White Sox or anything but come on, Mr. President (ooohh, I love writing that!), don't start off your Presidency hating on the Cubbies. They're cursed enough as it is.

7. Jon Stewart is exceptionally funny unless Samantha Bee is around and then he just plain sucks.

8. Saddleback sounds waaay too much like bareback for me to even begin to take Rev. Warren's gay-hating seriously.

9. The first openly gay bishop of the Episcopal church (on The Daily Show) is wearing a pink shirt and bares a striking resemblance to Elton John. Coincidence or bad joke?

10. Oddly enough, Fox News had way better inaugural ball coverage than any of the other news channels. Shocking. The coverage was incredibly public access, if you will, but extensive.

11. So that poem the female poet I should probably not admit I don't know read? Not the best. I'll have to read it to make a final decision, but rhythmic poetry just doesn't translate well to the masses.

12. Texas just gained a new full-time citizen. I guess you could say we're taking one for the team.

God how I hate BBQ...

How much food does it take to feed a party of 22? In my mom's world, it takes 6.5 lbs of cow, 4 half birds, and 10 lbs of miscellaneous pork parts wrapped in edible condoms. Not to mention sides and desserts.

If you ever wondered why Texas is top 5 in obesity it's because of the above. That's basically a pound of meat (just meat!) per person plus sides plus desserts. I say desserts plural because there will be many cakes and pies, as a southern family is want to do. (Technically we're west, not south, but we eat like poor, southern people so that works better for description's sake.)

I scoured the internet for the proper amount of food per person for a party. I came up with 1/4 lb of meat (or 1/2 lb if it's boned meat). Basically my family eats 4 x what the normal person would eat. It's quite gross actually.

I will not eat any of it, of course. I don't eat cow; I try to avoid sausage parts; and meat on a bone grosses me out. I thought about going to a local place and getting some wheat roast (fake meat) to see if anyone would notice, but I knew they would and I'd never live it down. Once your good food reputation is lost in my family, it's lost forever. (They still talk about the time my mother tried to make Stouffer's Stuffing at Thanksgiving one year and that was over 30 years ago!)

I tried to find a picture of 20 lbs of meat but the images grossed me out so bad I had to take a moment. So no pics.

Meat is gross.

If I were going to the inauguration...

I'd wear this:



But with better hair and possibly in a deep, royal/peacock blue. I'd prefer a royal blue with the iridescent parts in peacock blue. Damn, I'd look good next to Obama. Not, you know, in place of Michelle, per se, just for pictures and what not.

Permanently disgruntled? Perhaps.

Never buy from Barnes & Noble online or ship via UPS. I ordered a ton of books (9 or 10, which is a ton for me) on 12/26. I used 3 day air and paid via PayPal, mainly because I was too lazy to get up and get my debit card and PayPal was an easy click away. Then the problems started:

1. They charged Paypal oh, half a dozen times. I have no clue why.
2. They didn't ship for 5 days even though it should have already been at my house 2 days before they even decided to ship.
3. They split my order into 2 packages, which is ordinarily fine, but in the case of B&N, they decide to inform you 7 days after your package should have already arrived that they are splitting your order up even though they already sent out confirmation emails on everything.
4. UPS drops off a lovely, yellow InfoNotice, because oddly I was not at home from the hours of 2 to 5 in the middle of a work day. Odd.
5. UPS man/woman checks "A signature is required on delivery." I look to the back to read the instructions to make sure this is the one where I can just sign, not necessarily in person. It says, "If the 'A signature is required on delivery' box is checked, the driver must receive a signature either in person or by signing below." So I sign below and leave it for the driver.
6. The driver does not leave my package the next day and instead leaves a final notice. Great. (This was Tuesday.)
7. Wednesday evening I get home and there's a lovely book on my doorstep. Yes! No InfoNotice, no nothing. It's only 1 book and I remember that B&N split my order in two but still. I have 1 piece!
8. I'm about to travel over lunch to the boonies, where the UPS is oh-so conveniently located, when I decide to double check my tracking number online.
9. Hmmm... that's weird. It appears that my package is in fucking Pennsylvania. Rana - want some books?
10. I call the 800 number knowing my anger will most likely get the better of me and get a return phone call within an hour, as per policy.
11. The local UPS woman tells me the shipper insists on getting a signature in person. I politely (I think) inform the UPS woman that that was not the box that was checked on the multiple InfoNotices on my doors.
12. Then the local UPS woman decides that the driver must not have felt it was a safe location to leave a package, so that's why he didn't pay attention to the signature on the notice. I mention the package delivered the day before, just left on my doorstep, from UPS, presumably the same driver. I also mention how UPS packages are left on mine and my neighbors' doorsteps practically every week (I have 4 neighbors in my fourplex), so I doubt the usual driver has an issue with safety.
13. With no response, she informs me I must call the 800 number back and ask them to "intercept" my package. She apparently can't intercept my package and my only other option is to contact B&N and try to convince them to send me another package. Did I mention a couple of the books I ordered were 1 or 3 or some such low stock bullshit?
14. I call the 800 number. Oops. They can't do an intercept. I have to call the shipper.


Fucking shit, man. Now I have to call B&N, the original fuck-up and demand they send me my books all over again?

I hate B&N and UPS. I'm officially disgruntled. I can't even remember what books I ordered anymore. Damn.

And I'm back.

After a 6ish week blog break, I've finally mustered up the energy (time?) to come up with more dumb shit to say. Lucky me. Lucky everyone else.

Dumb shit #1: New Year's Resolutions. I made some. I can't remember all of them (always happens to things I get excited about), but the highlights are:
1. Be more crafty. So far - success! I've made 4 crafty things this year. 2 of them turned out halfway decently. The other 2 aren't even good enough to give away for free. Oh well. It happens. I'm hoping for enough crafty items to start an etsy account, but right now that's only a hope.

2. Cook more. So far - success! I cooked a pot of beans over the weekend. Yep, that's it. The sad thing is that one cooking attempt in 7 days counts as a success. Well it does. I really, really don't cook, okay?

3. Go to the gym more starting January 5th. (Hey I'm not dumb enough to start a fitness New Year's resolution when I'm still hungover from a NY Eve party. I have priorities.) So far - success! I went Monday, I'm going today, and I have a pilates class this evening. I keep flucuating on what my goal should be. Should I aim for the ultimate - 6 days a week? Or should I aim for 3 and hope for more? I'm unsure as to what my failure rate might be, so I'm unsure where to set goals. I have strict philosophies about not letting myself down, which usually equates to not setting really high goals. Oh and writing things down on a to-do list that I've already done and scratching them all off. I like to feel successful too.

4. Be more budget-minded. So far - success! I spent most of last week at work (stupid holiday weeks when everyone else is on vacation) creating a year-long budget for myself. This isn't really too difficult to do because I budget every month. It's just that now I've decided to spend only cash, which I hope will make my lack of memory not be the reason I've blown my budget this month. (I never, ever remember all of my debit card purchases, even if I keep the receipts.)

5. Join the local community orchestra. So far - failure. I suck. 'Nuff said about that.

6. Volunteer more. So far - failure. I've done nothing except buy some cheap Soy Joy bars (seriously, like $.74 for 6 boxes!) that I intend to donate to the food bank. Only I'm not terribly sure where the food bank is. So that's another obstacle.

Here's to wishing success in the new year! I also plan on figuring out how to make my computer run faster but that's not a new year's resolution, just an I'm-going-to-fucking-throw-this-fucking-thing-across-the-fucking-room resolution, ya know?

Colbert Slays Me!

Last night was the best Colbert of all time. It's as if he directed his show to me. Or at least parts of it. There was Pope humor, Footprints humor (haha!), and best of all, Jane Austen humor. I died. I am officially dead now. It was awesome.

Remember this little bit?

Well check this out:

See what I'm saying? I think it's the sunglasses. (There are better pics but you get the point.) This was Monday when he went to visit Bush. I saw about 5,000 pictures of him getting off the plane on the news yesterday and had to post them. Most presidents look like they're about to fall off the steps. Not Barack. He looks cool and determined and... did I mention cool?

He can most likely only disappoint from this moment on but for now? I'm impressed.

My emotions have been hijacked and a crisis averted.

I just watched last week's Grey's Anatomy. It involved old people. I cannot handle old people dying or being sad or freaking pumping the heart of their significant other after they sign the Do Not Resuscitate Form but have changed their minds when the SO is actually dying. I watched the first few episodes of ER way back when but stopped watching when too many old people died on the show. I'm not ashamed to watch and like Grey's Anatomy but I'm here to say I will stop watching their stupid show if more old people die on it. I cannot handle old people dying.

You know how after some cries, especially ones induced due to sappy tv shows or movies, you feel cathartic? Like you needed it in some way? I do not feel that way now. I feel mad. And pissed. And incredibly sad. I CANNOT handle old people dying.

On the bright side I gave my MOH toast at the wedding this weekend. It went pretty well I think. I was a little drunk afterwards and demanded praise for it. I'm not quite as annoying now, although I'll still take praise, but I was pretty worried about sounding like an idiot. I had a story to tell that was incredibly appropriate, but I really, really wanted to do the bride justice by telling it right. I didn't want to half-ass it and make the bride wish I'd said something better. I'm a little concerned I didn't praise her enough. Everything that I am - she's the opposite. I think because of that I respect and admire her more than I would if she were more like me. Because I know how easy it is to say and do all the wrong things (me) and how very hard it is to be patient and nice and forgiving and generally awesome (her). So if I didn't say it enough then - to you, B, may he make you happier than you can ever imagine you deserve. And may the rest of us beat him down if he doesn't!

Oh and she'll never read this because I'll forget to remind her by the time she comes back from her two weeks (wtf??) in Tahiti. I hate them.

America - fuck yeah!

I sat in someone else's living room. I heard the cheers. I lifted my glass. I sat outside. I heard screams coming from neighboring houses. I drove home. There were people dancing in the street and horns honking all around.

Austin wasn't this happy when Vince Young won us the Rose Bowl in 2005. I love it here, and for the first day in my entire life, I wish I had a flag pin.

Oh and Karl Rove? Raise those Horns and sing that fight song again and I will send Bevo after you. I'm not even kidding.

AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!

I'm so freaking excited! I can't WAIT until tomorrow. I hope he wins, I hope he wins, I hope he wins....

*fingers crossed*

Oh and I'm at a standstill with my MOH toast. Big surprise, eh? I have a great story to tell but I hate to tell it plus I want to kill in the humor department. I could totally bash the groom and get a few guffaws but I want the crows rolling. Hmmm... how to accomplish, how to accomplish? The wedding is Saturday. Any suggestions? Oh and I can't sing very well so it would have to be something incredibly easy, musically, if it were to be in song. And the same goes for dancing. I can take sarcasm to an artform though, if that helps.

Calorie counting is new? What?

I read a blog post on Jezebel about the resurgence of calorie counting and then I read this NYTimes article about the same thing. I have two thoughts: 1) Why is Jezebel so blatantly ripping off the NYTimes? and 2) What? Huh? How is this new?

I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on weight loss (as anyone who has seen the size of my ass can attest to), but if ever me and mine are trying to lose a few pounds, it's always straight to the calorie counting. Any reader of Bridget Jones knows that food diaries (complete with caloric breakdown, and for the more OCD among us, protein and carb breakdowns too) and exact knowledge of calories in any given piece of food are a part of life. I can't remember the last time a diet didn't involve obsessive counting of calories. Who doesn't know that 3700 calories equals a pound of fat and that to lose 2 pounds a week, you have to cut (either through exercise or better nutrition) 7400 calories a week? Who doesn't eyeball the Starbucks menu and know exactly which skinny drink to order in exactly the size that fits in your "snack" quota of calories for the day? Who also doesn't know which fast food items to order (if one must order fast food) off the menu for the lowest-calorie meal?

I know extreme calorie counters (B, I'm looking at you) and I know lazy calorie counters. But pretty much everyone I know - at least the females - count calories in some way, shape, or fashion. I'm quite surprised about the "calorie counting is so 1980s" theme these articles are espousing.

I'll leave you with a Bridget Jones' Diary quote, which related to alcoholic units, calories, and cigarettes: Calories/Units/Cigs? "Oh ziiiillllliiiiooonnnsssss....." (It's possible I added a letter or two.)

Confession.

I like bluegrass music. I do. I really like it. Of course, my opinion is solely based on an episode of King of the Hill that I saw last night. But still.

My cups filleth over - who knew?

I went for a bra fitting today at a real lingerie shop. No Vicky S or even the Oprah-touted Nordies. I went to a place that's been around for ages, sells really expensive lacy things, and is practically the only store in town where one can find a 32 FFFF (if that's even a size).

You don't just walk into this store to browse either. Oh no. There's a sign-up sheet when you first walk in and a professional fitter (aka salesperson) takes you in the back and starts bringing in bras (after a firm measurement, of course). You never even get to walk through the store and think about what you might want. Instead you tell the "fitter" and they bring you different shapes, colors, materials, etc. The fitter also gets super personal with your ladies. It's not a place for the shy.

I originally went in the store thinking I would get a new bra (mine is currently held together by luck) and possibly some appropriate undergarment for the bridesmaid dress I'll be wearing in an upcoming wedding. Apparently the makers of BM dresses, not so unlike other dress makers, assume that a person with a significant bottom half must have a top to match. I don't know if they make bra sizes big enough to match my ass, but if they do they're at the store I went to today. Needless to say, I have A LOT of room up top in the dress and I was curious what advice the "fitter" would give. She suggested a bustier. I suggested going bra-less. We settled on cups that can be sewn in by the tailor. Apparently looking completely flat-chested in a dress isn't a good "look" for me, i.e. the bra-less version. Whatev.

So as it turns out I'm about 2 cups sizes bigger than I thought. I was right on the band size but this is all quite a shock to me (a girl who swears by the "miracle" of VS to help them look like anything other than the smallest of the small). I tried on the new, bigger bra and was completely overwhelmed. I think I still am. The cup was so huge! It's not like it made my boobs look bigger or anything. The bigger bra just made the bra look bigger. Very weird and disconcerting. Apparently the boob-look I'm used to is not the natural boob-look. Go figure.

The other weird thing? VS tried to tell me last year that my cup size was too small but I laughed in their faces thinking they were dumb VS salespeople. Now I've had a 2nd professional fitting and they say the same thing. I don't know who to believe - them (the professionals) or my own conception of boob-look and sizes. I think I need a 3rd fitting to fully accept the unavoidable: I now have a grown-up girl bra size. Sad.

A new, terrifying thought: do I have to reevalate my low-cut blouses that I always thought were okay to wear because my boobs were so small (a la Debra Messing, pre-baby)? My world is askew...

2 weeks off?

If only I had a good excuse for not posting for two weeks. Something like vacation or dreamy days spent in fruity drink bliss. Unfortunately I've been too busy with work to post. How's that for shitty excuses?

I do have a few thoughts I think worth noting:

1) I did not like HP 7 after I first read it. As a matter of fact, it was the only HP book I didn't immediately (or thereafter) re-read. It remained on the shelf as the the one book I read once and put away. Frankly, I was mad at it. I didn't want the series to end - how do I describe my love for HP? - and this was the last book. So I took my anger out on the book itself. But in the last two weeks I've had quite a few hours to kill while driving from city to city (Texas is big, y'all), and the only book on tape I had on my iPod that I hadn't listened to was the last HP book. I gave in and let Jim Dale weave his magic and guess what? I like HP 7 now. I really like it. It's not as good when the kids aren't at Hogwarts, but it made me cry more times than I care to admit and that's usually a sign of a good book. I no longer have an angry, little knot in the bottom of my stomach when I think about Book 7. And actually, I think I might pick it up and give it another read sometime soon.

2) AUX inputs rock soooo much better than FM adapters. One of the best things about my new car, besides the obvious new car stuff, is the AUX input thing. I can listen to my iPod straight now, without any static or changing of FM channels. It it seriously awesome.

3) It recently came to my attention that non-Texans don't realize what "Don't Mess with Texas" really means. It's an anti-litter campaign. Although everything is bigger (and better) here, we don't actually create advertising campaigns strictly to shove it in other states' faces that we think we're better/tougher/etc. than everyone else. We're just anti-litter because we have so many freakin' roads to clean up.

4) Speaking of litter, throwing a cigarette butt out a car window is littering. I wish citizens' arrests were allowed for littering, because I'd be issuing those buggers all the damn time.

5) I can't think of any American sayings that people actually use. My friend is going to London next week and she's been talking a lot recently with her British friend, who apparently uses a lot of slang that we've never heard of. Accordingly, she's trying to think of American slang that doesn't cross the pond on a regular basis. All the slang I thought of used illicit words but apparently we all use those phrases. I was no help and the only things she came up with were phrases I've never heard anyone actually use, like snug as a bug in a rug. Who says that? Children's books maybe. But real people? Any thoughts on ways to mystify the English? I'm up for any suggestions.

6) ACORN has gotten a raw deal lately. I don't understand shadowing a non-profit organization with clouds of "quasi-criminal" activity (direct quote from stupid Repub chairman) if you don't have actual proof of it and especially when there is evidence that partisan groups (ahem) did some falsifying to create controversy. (See Washington Post and The Guardian for further stories.)

7) No one knows who Holly Golightly is. Go figure.

8) I learned something from Gossip Girl last night: there's an author named George San out there somewhere that someone thinks is worth reading. I haven't bothered to figure out who that is or what she wrote (I think it's a she), but don't ever say you can't learn something from television.

9) When traveling, Keith Olbermann is an excellent source of comfort. When one's world is topsy-turvy and one is rolling in the muck of liars and thieves, it's nice to know there's always someone there to be outraged for you, even if his topic is politics and yours is not. It's still nice to know that at 8/7c you can hear someone else yelling in the room for a change.

10) I'm a total bitch. I knew it before but I'm owning it now. Out of a room full of women, I'm the only one who wasn't being passive-agressive. I was just being agressive-agressive, which apparently leads to the older (and more powerful) men in the room being proud of you - didn't need their approval but it's nice nonetheless, especially when they're technically the big bosses.

Daily Pointers, yo.

1. Axe Body Spray does not cover up the smell of personal filth (i.e. funk and body odor).

2. Girls do not automatically want to put band-aids on people just because they're girls.

3. Pensises do not actually get larger when a man holds a drill. They might technically get smaller. (Shrinkage through comparison, you see.)

4. Just because your decision was quick does not make it not stupid.

5. A Cubs baseball game will always look like a blooper reel.

6. Volunteering for more work sometimes means you'll really get more work.

7. A step back is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you can get a better sense of the big picture and focus on what's really important (like your crazy, brilliant ideas and talents that got you started in the first place).

8. Halloween costumes lose their luster when worn all day at work, in the evening trick-or-treating, and at night for the big shindig.

9. Throwing your legs up over your ass only works when your ass isn't the size of a small national forest. (Pilates instructors should really know this.)

10. I should really be allowed to make all decisions everywhere. Or else run my own hugely-popular think tank. I'm open for either suggestion although I'm partial to the think tank.