Thursday, October 30, 2008

Calorie counting is new? What?

I read a blog post on Jezebel about the resurgence of calorie counting and then I read this NYTimes article about the same thing. I have two thoughts: 1) Why is Jezebel so blatantly ripping off the NYTimes? and 2) What? Huh? How is this new?

I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on weight loss (as anyone who has seen the size of my ass can attest to), but if ever me and mine are trying to lose a few pounds, it's always straight to the calorie counting. Any reader of Bridget Jones knows that food diaries (complete with caloric breakdown, and for the more OCD among us, protein and carb breakdowns too) and exact knowledge of calories in any given piece of food are a part of life. I can't remember the last time a diet didn't involve obsessive counting of calories. Who doesn't know that 3700 calories equals a pound of fat and that to lose 2 pounds a week, you have to cut (either through exercise or better nutrition) 7400 calories a week? Who doesn't eyeball the Starbucks menu and know exactly which skinny drink to order in exactly the size that fits in your "snack" quota of calories for the day? Who also doesn't know which fast food items to order (if one must order fast food) off the menu for the lowest-calorie meal?

I know extreme calorie counters (B, I'm looking at you) and I know lazy calorie counters. But pretty much everyone I know - at least the females - count calories in some way, shape, or fashion. I'm quite surprised about the "calorie counting is so 1980s" theme these articles are espousing.

I'll leave you with a Bridget Jones' Diary quote, which related to alcoholic units, calories, and cigarettes: Calories/Units/Cigs? "Oh ziiiillllliiiiooonnnsssss....." (It's possible I added a letter or two.)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


I like bluegrass music. I do. I really like it. Of course, my opinion is solely based on an episode of King of the Hill that I saw last night. But still.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

My cups filleth over - who knew?

I went for a bra fitting today at a real lingerie shop. No Vicky S or even the Oprah-touted Nordies. I went to a place that's been around for ages, sells really expensive lacy things, and is practically the only store in town where one can find a 32 FFFF (if that's even a size).

You don't just walk into this store to browse either. Oh no. There's a sign-up sheet when you first walk in and a professional fitter (aka salesperson) takes you in the back and starts bringing in bras (after a firm measurement, of course). You never even get to walk through the store and think about what you might want. Instead you tell the "fitter" and they bring you different shapes, colors, materials, etc. The fitter also gets super personal with your ladies. It's not a place for the shy.

I originally went in the store thinking I would get a new bra (mine is currently held together by luck) and possibly some appropriate undergarment for the bridesmaid dress I'll be wearing in an upcoming wedding. Apparently the makers of BM dresses, not so unlike other dress makers, assume that a person with a significant bottom half must have a top to match. I don't know if they make bra sizes big enough to match my ass, but if they do they're at the store I went to today. Needless to say, I have A LOT of room up top in the dress and I was curious what advice the "fitter" would give. She suggested a bustier. I suggested going bra-less. We settled on cups that can be sewn in by the tailor. Apparently looking completely flat-chested in a dress isn't a good "look" for me, i.e. the bra-less version. Whatev.

So as it turns out I'm about 2 cups sizes bigger than I thought. I was right on the band size but this is all quite a shock to me (a girl who swears by the "miracle" of VS to help them look like anything other than the smallest of the small). I tried on the new, bigger bra and was completely overwhelmed. I think I still am. The cup was so huge! It's not like it made my boobs look bigger or anything. The bigger bra just made the bra look bigger. Very weird and disconcerting. Apparently the boob-look I'm used to is not the natural boob-look. Go figure.

The other weird thing? VS tried to tell me last year that my cup size was too small but I laughed in their faces thinking they were dumb VS salespeople. Now I've had a 2nd professional fitting and they say the same thing. I don't know who to believe - them (the professionals) or my own conception of boob-look and sizes. I think I need a 3rd fitting to fully accept the unavoidable: I now have a grown-up girl bra size. Sad.

A new, terrifying thought: do I have to reevalate my low-cut blouses that I always thought were okay to wear because my boobs were so small (a la Debra Messing, pre-baby)? My world is askew...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

2 weeks off?

If only I had a good excuse for not posting for two weeks. Something like vacation or dreamy days spent in fruity drink bliss. Unfortunately I've been too busy with work to post. How's that for shitty excuses?

I do have a few thoughts I think worth noting:

1) I did not like HP 7 after I first read it. As a matter of fact, it was the only HP book I didn't immediately (or thereafter) re-read. It remained on the shelf as the the one book I read once and put away. Frankly, I was mad at it. I didn't want the series to end - how do I describe my love for HP? - and this was the last book. So I took my anger out on the book itself. But in the last two weeks I've had quite a few hours to kill while driving from city to city (Texas is big, y'all), and the only book on tape I had on my iPod that I hadn't listened to was the last HP book. I gave in and let Jim Dale weave his magic and guess what? I like HP 7 now. I really like it. It's not as good when the kids aren't at Hogwarts, but it made me cry more times than I care to admit and that's usually a sign of a good book. I no longer have an angry, little knot in the bottom of my stomach when I think about Book 7. And actually, I think I might pick it up and give it another read sometime soon.

2) AUX inputs rock soooo much better than FM adapters. One of the best things about my new car, besides the obvious new car stuff, is the AUX input thing. I can listen to my iPod straight now, without any static or changing of FM channels. It it seriously awesome.

3) It recently came to my attention that non-Texans don't realize what "Don't Mess with Texas" really means. It's an anti-litter campaign. Although everything is bigger (and better) here, we don't actually create advertising campaigns strictly to shove it in other states' faces that we think we're better/tougher/etc. than everyone else. We're just anti-litter because we have so many freakin' roads to clean up.

4) Speaking of litter, throwing a cigarette butt out a car window is littering. I wish citizens' arrests were allowed for littering, because I'd be issuing those buggers all the damn time.

5) I can't think of any American sayings that people actually use. My friend is going to London next week and she's been talking a lot recently with her British friend, who apparently uses a lot of slang that we've never heard of. Accordingly, she's trying to think of American slang that doesn't cross the pond on a regular basis. All the slang I thought of used illicit words but apparently we all use those phrases. I was no help and the only things she came up with were phrases I've never heard anyone actually use, like snug as a bug in a rug. Who says that? Children's books maybe. But real people? Any thoughts on ways to mystify the English? I'm up for any suggestions.

6) ACORN has gotten a raw deal lately. I don't understand shadowing a non-profit organization with clouds of "quasi-criminal" activity (direct quote from stupid Repub chairman) if you don't have actual proof of it and especially when there is evidence that partisan groups (ahem) did some falsifying to create controversy. (See Washington Post and The Guardian for further stories.)

7) No one knows who Holly Golightly is. Go figure.

8) I learned something from Gossip Girl last night: there's an author named George San out there somewhere that someone thinks is worth reading. I haven't bothered to figure out who that is or what she wrote (I think it's a she), but don't ever say you can't learn something from television.

9) When traveling, Keith Olbermann is an excellent source of comfort. When one's world is topsy-turvy and one is rolling in the muck of liars and thieves, it's nice to know there's always someone there to be outraged for you, even if his topic is politics and yours is not. It's still nice to know that at 8/7c you can hear someone else yelling in the room for a change.

10) I'm a total bitch. I knew it before but I'm owning it now. Out of a room full of women, I'm the only one who wasn't being passive-agressive. I was just being agressive-agressive, which apparently leads to the older (and more powerful) men in the room being proud of you - didn't need their approval but it's nice nonetheless, especially when they're technically the big bosses.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Daily Pointers, yo.

1. Axe Body Spray does not cover up the smell of personal filth (i.e. funk and body odor).

2. Girls do not automatically want to put band-aids on people just because they're girls.

3. Pensises do not actually get larger when a man holds a drill. They might technically get smaller. (Shrinkage through comparison, you see.)

4. Just because your decision was quick does not make it not stupid.

5. A Cubs baseball game will always look like a blooper reel.

6. Volunteering for more work sometimes means you'll really get more work.

7. A step back is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you can get a better sense of the big picture and focus on what's really important (like your crazy, brilliant ideas and talents that got you started in the first place).

8. Halloween costumes lose their luster when worn all day at work, in the evening trick-or-treating, and at night for the big shindig.

9. Throwing your legs up over your ass only works when your ass isn't the size of a small national forest. (Pilates instructors should really know this.)

10. I should really be allowed to make all decisions everywhere. Or else run my own hugely-popular think tank. I'm open for either suggestion although I'm partial to the think tank.