1. Axe Body Spray does not cover up the smell of personal filth (i.e. funk and body odor).
2. Girls do not automatically want to put band-aids on people just because they're girls.
3. Pensises do not actually get larger when a man holds a drill. They might technically get smaller. (Shrinkage through comparison, you see.)
4. Just because your decision was quick does not make it not stupid.
5. A Cubs baseball game will always look like a blooper reel.
6. Volunteering for more work sometimes means you'll really get more work.
7. A step back is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you can get a better sense of the big picture and focus on what's really important (like your crazy, brilliant ideas and talents that got you started in the first place).
8. Halloween costumes lose their luster when worn all day at work, in the evening trick-or-treating, and at night for the big shindig.
9. Throwing your legs up over your ass only works when your ass isn't the size of a small national forest. (Pilates instructors should really know this.)
10. I should really be allowed to make all decisions everywhere. Or else run my own hugely-popular think tank. I'm open for either suggestion although I'm partial to the think tank.