Friday, November 14, 2008

Colbert Slays Me!

Last night was the best Colbert of all time. It's as if he directed his show to me. Or at least parts of it. There was Pope humor, Footprints humor (haha!), and best of all, Jane Austen humor. I died. I am officially dead now. It was awesome.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Remember this little bit?

Well check this out:

See what I'm saying? I think it's the sunglasses. (There are better pics but you get the point.) This was Monday when he went to visit Bush. I saw about 5,000 pictures of him getting off the plane on the news yesterday and had to post them. Most presidents look like they're about to fall off the steps. Not Barack. He looks cool and determined and... did I mention cool?
He can most likely only disappoint from this moment on but for now? I'm impressed.

Monday, November 10, 2008

My emotions have been hijacked and a crisis averted.

I just watched last week's Grey's Anatomy. It involved old people. I cannot handle old people dying or being sad or freaking pumping the heart of their significant other after they sign the Do Not Resuscitate Form but have changed their minds when the SO is actually dying. I watched the first few episodes of ER way back when but stopped watching when too many old people died on the show. I'm not ashamed to watch and like Grey's Anatomy but I'm here to say I will stop watching their stupid show if more old people die on it. I cannot handle old people dying.

You know how after some cries, especially ones induced due to sappy tv shows or movies, you feel cathartic? Like you needed it in some way? I do not feel that way now. I feel mad. And pissed. And incredibly sad. I CANNOT handle old people dying.

On the bright side I gave my MOH toast at the wedding this weekend. It went pretty well I think. I was a little drunk afterwards and demanded praise for it. I'm not quite as annoying now, although I'll still take praise, but I was pretty worried about sounding like an idiot. I had a story to tell that was incredibly appropriate, but I really, really wanted to do the bride justice by telling it right. I didn't want to half-ass it and make the bride wish I'd said something better. I'm a little concerned I didn't praise her enough. Everything that I am - she's the opposite. I think because of that I respect and admire her more than I would if she were more like me. Because I know how easy it is to say and do all the wrong things (me) and how very hard it is to be patient and nice and forgiving and generally awesome (her). So if I didn't say it enough then - to you, B, may he make you happier than you can ever imagine you deserve. And may the rest of us beat him down if he doesn't!

Oh and she'll never read this because I'll forget to remind her by the time she comes back from her two weeks (wtf??) in Tahiti. I hate them.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

America - fuck yeah!

I sat in someone else's living room. I heard the cheers. I lifted my glass. I sat outside. I heard screams coming from neighboring houses. I drove home. There were people dancing in the street and horns honking all around.

Austin wasn't this happy when Vince Young won us the Rose Bowl in 2005. I love it here, and for the first day in my entire life, I wish I had a flag pin.

Oh and Karl Rove? Raise those Horns and sing that fight song again and I will send Bevo after you. I'm not even kidding.

Monday, November 03, 2008


I'm so freaking excited! I can't WAIT until tomorrow. I hope he wins, I hope he wins, I hope he wins....

*fingers crossed*

Oh and I'm at a standstill with my MOH toast. Big surprise, eh? I have a great story to tell but I hate to tell it plus I want to kill in the humor department. I could totally bash the groom and get a few guffaws but I want the crows rolling. Hmmm... how to accomplish, how to accomplish? The wedding is Saturday. Any suggestions? Oh and I can't sing very well so it would have to be something incredibly easy, musically, if it were to be in song. And the same goes for dancing. I can take sarcasm to an artform though, if that helps.