Too much Tori Amos

While at work I'm limited to my music selections to random cds that don't output too much noise. As is, they're mainly girls, some bordering on grrls. I randomly hit on Tales from a Librarian today and it's a really great cd. It reminds me of the 90s, but it's still a great cd. (I count the early 00s at the 90s, just an fyi.) Instead of having the typical too-much-Tori-response and associate all past sexual encounters as some form of sexual assault (just a guess), I just feel slightly lame. While I'm glad I don't have countless ups and downs in my social life, being drama-free does make me feel old. And did I mention lame? I'm not sad. I have no one to blame for desperate situations. I don't even have desperate situations - or perceived desperate situations to be more accurate. Is this a product of getting older or of being in a steady relationship? (I'm using "steady" in an even-keel type way, not gee whillickers!, I'm going steady type way.)

Boo to 90s, angsty music. It makes me feel old and boring.

Electric Youth?

I swear to god someone in my office building wears Electric Youth perfume. Remember that stuff? The Debbie Gibson fragrance? I remember it distinctly because a) I was madly in love with Debbie Gibson as a child and b) my mother stole the perfume from me and wore it every, single day. The smell is tied to my childhood. Turns out you can't really buy this stuff anymore. Whoever is wearing it must have stockpiled it from 1988...

A plug and a newly discovered allergy.

My friend John-Michael (are you reading this?) makes really cool electronics/toys/random things and will be presenting at Maker Faire next weekend here in Austin. Here's a pic of his latest Halloween special addition Thingamas:

He has a great bunch of pics of them on his flicker website http://www.flickr.com/photos/john-mike/ and you can check out all his regular creations at his Bleep Labs' site http://www.bleeplabs.com/

Update: my glands are swollen. I think my lymph nodes are allergic to diet coke.

Babies are fun when they belong to other people.

I have a gift - I can predict my sister-in-law's pregnancies. Only hers and no others (not even the first sis-in-law, this is the 2nd). I have dreams where she's pregnant. I call her and tell her about them and she scoffs at me. A couple of months later (sometimes less depending on their timetables), I get a call announcing a pregnancy. I've had the dream 4 times in my entire life and she's been pregnant 4 times (each around the time of the dream). It could be alpha waves or something coming from my brother but, to be honest, that's kind of sick if you think about it. So I prefer to think of it as psychic ability. If anyone were to ever doubt my abilities, I can just point to my nieces and nephews and say, "see? I told you so."

On a similar note, congrats to K & K! They just had their triplets last night. So not only are they the first "friend" couple I have to have kids, but they have three of them! At the same time! It's insane and crazy and they'll make the best parents. And if those kids' first words aren't something that would make a sailor blush, I'll start a college fund. I think I'll bring sushi over (instead of baby stuff) when I go visit them for the first time. I know at least K will thank me. She never craved her beer or bloody marys (that would have been me but with wine and vodka), but I know she missed her raw fish.

Yesterday was a good day. It was the best day I've had in a long time. There are still sad things going on but damn it's good to hear about babies. And no, Mom, I'm still not changing my mind about having any. Get over it.

I'm having stylist guilt...

On odd months I go to my stylist to get my hair cut. On even months I go to a different colorist to get my hair colored. They're at two different salons, know about the other, but do not know each other. Last time I got my hair colored I decided I was going to seek out a different place. That salon was too pricey and my face looked red due to bad blonde highlights. (It's quite possible I'm going through a blotchy phase but I prefer to put the blame on others. It's easier to make it through the day.)

So I found a new colorist. It's a Bumble & Bumble salon which is supposed to be cool because: a) they give you samples of all the B&B products they use each time and b) they spend at least one day a week training to keep abreast of new techniques. Oh and did I mention much more affordable?

Due to the dental drama from last week, I had to spend my hard-earned, budgeted, haircut money on a damned cavity. Boo to the nth degree. This month, being an even month, I only have enough $$ for the color and not the cut. But I really need a haircut since I didn't get one last month. See my dilemma? I need a haircut and a color and I only have dollars for a color. Or a cut. What's a stylish girl to do?

Here's where the excellent deal at the new place comes in. Apparently I can get a cut and a color at the new place for what I paid for a color at the old place. So I can get two services for the price of one. Only it means I can't go to my lovely stylist whom I love dearly. I'm feeling the guilt. I went ahead and made an appointment for both services at the new salon and I'll get back on my odd month = haircut schedule next month but until then? I feel like I'm cheating. I've broken up with my old colorist and moved on to someone new. But I don't want to break up with my stylist. I still love and adore her. I'm just plain, old cheating because it's easy and convenient. Ack! I'm sick. And guilty.

Spinster Insurance

So apparently you can freeze your eggs now, not just fertilized embryos (redundant use of adjective?). It cost $5000, which I definitely can't afford. I guess if I can't afford to freeze my eggs in the near future, it's probably a pretty good sign I couldn't afford to have a kid - not to mention my lack of want.

A reader on Jezebel defined it as spinster insurance and that? is the funniest thing I've heard all week. (Combined with the thought of relying on men to take a bc pill everyday. As if.)

http://www.mirror.co.uk/showbiz/yourlife/sexandhealth/2007/09/27/should-you-put-motherhood-on-hold-89520-19855665/

Boo.

Apparently it's rude to correct other people's grammar. And apparently people remember things like that about you. It's not my fault some people can't speak the English language correctly.

On a related note, commercials could really use English degree holders to do a little editing in lame, product-driven dialogues. Just saying.

I look like I've had a stroke.

How long does it take for numbness to wear off? I had my FIRST! EVER! cavity filled this morning. It was a pretty horrific experience. I can handle shots and all that jazz, but the mere thought of having an actual hole in my tooth worked on by a man who wears jeans to work through me into a bit of a tizzy. Not to mention the fact that I noticed both the dentist and the assistant watching the Today show more than once while their hands were in my mouth. Not cool at all. A good thing of note is that apparently shots for numbing the gums have decreased in length. I had quite a few dentist visits that involved mouth numbing a few years ago (damn concrete driveway that decided to jump up and pulverize my teeth!), and I swear to god that I thought the needle would poke through my gums and go right on through to my brain. I have no clue how such a long needle is used for such a tiny space like gums.

So back to my original point: how long for the numbness to wear off? It's been 3 hours now and I still look like I'm the gross side of the before/after pic in the doctor's office. My coworker actually kicked me out of his office, because he couldn't accept the fact that he'll probably have a stroke sometime in his life. (You can imagine how this conversation got started, given the state of the sagging right side of my face.) Little or big, don't most people have some version of a stroke when they're old and feeble? Don't get mad at me. I didn't make the rules. It's their game and we're all just playing in it.

That movie about Jesse James? Blows.

Why is it that all sucky movies insist on extending my misery past the two hour threshold? I'm not saying all long movies suck, but all sucky movies are long. Brad Pitt wasn't even cute. What a disappointment. I also read somewhere that he looks like ass in HDTV. That's disappointing as well. I wonder what his butt (in Troy) looks like in HD. I might have to try it out soon.

I'm attempting to find a Halloween costume but nothing is calling to me except Buffy the Vampire Slayer and there's not really a definitive costume that goes with that. Except for the stake she carries around and cross she wears. Plus I'd have to buy a cross and a stake. Those seem like odd things to purchase for a Halloween costume. Although probably not as weird as the fake guns and bulletproof vests I want to buy for my Mr. and Mrs. Smith idea. I have to find a Mr. Smith. Or at least a Mr. who doesn't mind being a Smith for Halloween.

Forever 21 is the ultimate class equalizer.

Anthropologie is suing F21 for ripping off their designs (as are Anna Sui, Gwen Stefani aka LAMB, DVF, and other fashion bigwigs). As if these designers didn't ultimately rip off their ideas from others as well. And it's not like the factories aren't right next door to each other - F21's and high-end designers'.

The most important part of this story is the fact that I can't afford to buy the crap that LAMB or Anthro sells or at least not on a regular basis. I can afford to shop at F21. I love how all these fashion gurus think only really wealthy people should be able to dress well. I like clothes. I like nice clothes. I like style. I cannot, however, afford to spend $100-$200 on a trendy, cotton top from the pretties listed above. I can buy one at F21 for less than $20 though. I know it won't last more than a few washes, and I know I'm likely to have to sew a button back on. But give me a break. For a trendy summer shirt that isn't going to last longer than one season, what difference does it make?

While I don't always like F21 (and I certainly don't like their Bible verse printed on the bottom of every bag), I'm with them on this fight. Bringing fakes to the masses is a fight I can get behind.

If I were a cartoon...

Today I'd be a continually exploding stick of dynamite. I'm not a violent person and I can't really visualize violent things happening to people, but I did just watch that bit of Kill Bill where Uma takes out the whole Asian mafia and then scalps Lucy Lui. So badass. Anyway, I digress.

Just a few things that have made me irrationally angry today:

1) Blogs not having new posts. I realize you're on vacation but I. Don't. Care. I'm the reader. I couldn't care less if you haven't slept or had time off in six weeks. Your problem. I want something entertaining to read.

2) People not answering their phones. Don't you know I'm in need of a good venting? What's the deal with being able to sense that and refusing to pick up the phone? Rationally I realize people could be, oh I don't know, working, but that does not mean I can't slam the phone down with added oomph, does it?

3) Cavities. I've never had one. I went to the dentist today and he said I had one. My first ever. I'm seriously debating getting a 2nd opinion. Is that a proper procedure for a cavity diagnosis? Can dentists be wrong?

4) My skin. I can't decide if my skin has had a nervous breakdown (the one I'm holding at bay with diet coke and tootsie rolls) or if the new lightbulbs I just put in my bathroom are extremely harsh. Either way, it's not pretty. All of a sudden I've got pores the size of the grand canyon. And why??? I wash and exfoliate and moisturize and spf and all those other skin-related verbs. I think I'm going to take out one of the lightbulbs and see how it looks then.

5) Discover card mail. I organized over a year's worth of bills/mail last night and Discover card beat everyone else at least 2 to 1. Why is that? I've never once opened one of the envelopes sent to me, so why send them? I click on the "don't send me mail" button online but it doesn't work. I even told the customer service people at Discover that I don't read the crap they send me - apparently to no avail. I also realized I need a new file cabinet. And that I like things organized.

*sigh* I feel a little better now.

Ha ha ha ha! Such as.

Poor Miss Teen South Carolina. I'm not sure she can ever live it down. As a result of her mind-numbing answer to the question of US kids not knowing where America is on a map (btw, where are these kids? who are they? I want to smack their parents and teachers.), this website was created. And it's freaking hilarious. Such as.

http://mapsforus.org/

If you're not laughing at this website, you're a badly-programmed robot.

Is it true all anti-gays are gays?

I don't know what's worse, confusing pedophilia with homosexuality or all the right-wing nutjobs who are adamently anti-gay, actually being gay.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070828/ap_on_go_co/craig_arrest

So this Senator Craig guy from Idaho (no, you da ho!) has been very adament about no gay marriages, no legal protection for discrimination based on sexual orientation, etc. Turns out he's gay, although he says he's not. He says he's only guilty of pleading guilty to a crime, not the actual crime itself. Apparently soliciting sex from other men in airport bathrooms does not make you gay. No sir. I'm not sure what it makes you - guilty of saying you're guilty of soliciting gay sex? - but it DOES NOT mean you're gay. Awesome. This is definite cookie-dough-has-no-calories-until-it's-cooked logic. I like it.

Note to self: the next old, white guy who obsesses over gay marriage is gay. I accept it, and so should they.

Holy Fucking Shit.

Bystanders watched as a woman was raped. I can't believe that's even a news story but there you have it. The story says a man walked up, observed, turned around, went the other, and put his hood up. Nice, eh? The article also says the security cameras see one woman looking out her door at least 3 times and doing nothing. Apparently the woman being raped knocked on the door of at least one apartment begging the guy inside to call the cops. I can't even believe this. So fucking sad.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/08/24/national/main3200634.shtml?source=RSSattr=U.S._3200634

I got two of these babies over the weekend at a sale at Urban Outfitters. 50% off clearance stuff. $10 each!! Now I have to find an affordable shade. I'm thinking of making a trip to IKEA to see what they have to offer. Worst case is that I get a cool shape and cover it wth a piece of fabric. Kind of like the IKEA hack down below. I'm thinking steel gray would look nice but maybe that's too dreary for a bedroom? I'm not sure...

IKEA hack:

http://ikeahacker.blogspot.com/2007/08/new-look-for-lampan-lamp.html

Cancer sucks.

I'm not into praying or any of that jazz, but I do believe in the power of positive thought. I don't know if I can make much difference, but I'm definitely willing to try. Kara is the sister of one of my dearest friends, Jean. It sounds so lame to say it, but I hope she gets better soon.

http://prayforkara.blogspot.com/

Stolen material better than my own...

I blatently stole this idea from Limewire's Music blog, but it's Limewire, right? Isn't stealing what I'm supposed to do there? Here's the link to the original blog, lest I be accused of not citing my sources: http://blog.limewire.com/archives/2007/08/14/indie-rock-baseball/

Here's their blog:

Indie Rock Baseball
By Jens Carstensen

While listening to Interpol’s Our Love to Admire with a friend of mine, we devised a way to turn album reviews into a fun little game. We appropriately titled the method ‘Indie Rock Baseball.’ Here’s how it works:

* You start with two outs and no one on base.
* Each time you skip to the next track without finishing the one you were listening to, that’s a strike.
* Each time you finish a song, that’s a ball.
* Each time you actually *like* a song, that’s a hit. Naturally. Or a single, if you prefer. This also resets the count (as would four balls). Now you would have a runner on. Another hit (or walk) would advance the runner, etc.
* Once a record reaches three strikes, it’s OUT. Of your CD player (or preferred music player).
* Otherwise, you post the result (e.g. 1 run, 2 left on base).

For instance, Our Love to Admire, sporting ridiculous amounts of “empty church” reverb, struck out after four pitches. Of course, the 2nd song is titled “No ‘I’ in Threesome”, which probably should’ve gotten it tossed faster than Lou Pinella on a 100-degree day.


Now to my review of Regina Spektor's album (Begin to Hope) vs. Kelly Clarkson's new album (My December) in this new, fancy baseball way (although I'll admit it's not really a contest):

Top of the whatever inning: Spektor's up to bat and there are:
2 outs, no one on base - 1) Fidelity - listened to it all the way through, loved it
2 outs, person on 1st - 2) Better - listened to it all the way through, liked it
2 outs, person on 1st, 2nd - 3) Samson - listened to it all the way through, bordered on loved it
2 outs, bases loaded - 4) On the Radio - love the music, like the lyrics, miss a catchy hook, end up moving on before it's over, although I stuck through most of it
2 outs, bases loaded, 1 strike - 5) Field Below - nice but I'm not in a sad mood so I skipped it
2 outs, bases loaded, 2 strikes - 6) Hotel Song - like more than a little
2 outs, person on 2nd and 3rd, 1-0 - 7) Apres Moi - like it in theory, too Russian in practice, skip
2 outs, person on 2nd and 3rd, 1-0, 1 strike - 8) 20 Yes of Snow - beautiful piano opening - love everything about it
2 outs, bases loaded, 1-0 - 9) That Time - reminds me a conversation I'd have with a friend but with better music. Love.
2 outs, person on 2nd and 3rd, 2-0 - 10) Edit - skip - too deep for me (sadly)
2 outs, person on 2nd and 3rd, 2-0, 1 strike - 11) Lady - would love it on a clean house, candles burning kind of night but as is, I skipped it after listening to most of the lyrics and getting depressed
2 outs, person on 2nd and 3rd, 2-0, 2 strikes - 12) Summer in the City - like (but alas, no more scores)

Total: 2 runs scored, 3 left on base


Bottom of whatever inning: Clarkson's up to bat:
2 outs, no one on base - 1) Never Again - I've heard this on the radio and like it okay.
2 outs, person on 1st - 2) One Minute - kind of like the produced, electric pop sound but like most KC songs, the middle sags, skip
2 outs, person on 1st, 1 strike - 3) Hole - now it's heavier guitar-infused sound... like the transition - like but could do without another "shut up" lyric
2 outs, person on 1st and 2nd - 4) Sober - Apparently this arrangement has 7 violinist, 4 cellists (the plural of cello is celli, fyi), a double bass, and three different saxophones (alto, tenor, and baritone) and they all really come through about 2/3rds into the song. I dig it.
2 outs, bases loaded - 5) Don't Waste Your Time - eh, skip
2 outs, bases loaded, 1 strike - 6) Judas - I'm tempted to skip based on the name but we'll see - nope, tiresome at best, should have stuck with my instincts, skip
2 outs, bases loaded, 2 strikes - 7) Haunted - okay. I won't skip it but I'm not sure I'd seek it out afterwards. It reminds me of a lot of things on her 2nd album.
2 outs, person on 2nd and 3rd, 1-2 - 8) Be Still - again with all the strings. Like but very tame.
2 outs, bases loaded, 1-2 - 9) Maybe - I almost want to skip this based on the lyrics alone.
2 outs, bases loaded, 1-2, 1 strike - 10) How I Feel - skip
2 outs, bases loaded, 1-2, 2 strikes - 11) Yeah - I wouldn't skip this one but I hate the lyrics.
Inning Over

Result: Regina Spektor wins 2-1 - big surprise. It wasn't actually as close as the score looks. I bought the Kelly Clarkson cd to show her some support, due to the whole Clive Davis debacle but I'm not sure I'll listen to it very much.

Maybe tomorrow I'll do the new Tegan and Sara.

New Music Recommendation (New to Me)

I'm a little late to Regina Spektor (Begin to Hope came out in June 2006), but damn she's good.

Each song gets a little better everytime I listen to it. Someone said she was the next Sarah Maclaughin but I think she's better than that. I was/am? a SM fan, so no judgment here, but her lyrics are smarter and laced with something a little stronger than heartache and bad coffee (all good things, no doubt).

I think she plays the piano in most of her songs, because 1) she was classicly trained in piano according to amazon, 2) there's a lot of piano in each song, and 3) no one else is credited in jacket. I wouldn't say any of her songs are happy, per se, as a matter of fact most of the lyrics are pretty sad, but the music is so happy, lively, and dare I say quirky? that there's nothing depressing about the songs themselves.

I could go into intimate detail with each song, but I'll leave that thrill to the listener. Check her out. You can listen to one of the songs here: http://www.spinner.com/2007/07/15/women-who-rock-right-now-no-5/

I'd just like to say

Hi John-Michael!!

Especially since you (he) are/is the only one reading this. I really am shocked that you haven't seen The Burbs.

Recreating Anthro

Beautiful, eh? But guess how much for the total look? (I'm only referring to the top half.) $314. $314!! That's crazy. But it's so, so pretty. I guess the key is to find the "look" for less. Aside: whatever happened to that show? Here's my attempt:

$58 at Urban Outfitters. I think the shape is pretty similar, as is the color. I might even like the multi-colored effect of this one better. I'd have to try it on to see if it look as good unbuttoned though...

$4.49 at Target. I'd prefer something with a sweetheart neck, like the original pic, but a v-neck will do (or whatever this is).

$32.80 at Forever 21. I'm not 100% feeling this top as an adequate substitute, and, depending on it's sheerness, it probably nullifies the need for the cami underneath.

So if I go with my recreated outfit, I've dropped the total from $314 to $95.29 - not too shabby. If I decide to just replace the sweater and cami and get the lace shirt from Anthro, I'm looking at $180.49 - still an ouch. I guess I'll have to keep looking - or wait for a sale.

The trials and tribulations of random thoughts.

Two things:

1) My left eye muscle appears to be permanently strained from having to go to all the trouble of staying open. I know that's not technically "lazy eye" but damn! you'd think blinking would be enough of a workout for eyes to at least not convulse during the act of being awake.

2) I went downstairs in my office to seek out the much beloved caffeine and I smelled pancakes. Pancakes! At work? It was insane. Insanely yummy, that is. Not to mention that last night I saw a Frasier where someone discussed adding bacon to the batter of the pancake and how amazing it is.

I think the world is telling me I need to eat yummy, wonderful pancakes and then go take a nap. I'm okay with the world today.

Annoyance is contagious.

So J told me she was annoyed by a few things at work and I thought, "shew, thank goodness I'm having a good day." And I am. But then I got back to work and I started noticing things. Annoying things. Here they are, in no order of importance:

1. People who can't walk in shoes. If the heels are too high ladies, if you're creating a science experiment because you can't lift your feet when you walk, or if your shoes are plain old ill-fitting, don't wear them. I've seen one woman in particular in my building shuffling around in very high wedge slides. The woman cannot walk in them to save her life. So instead she shuffles down the hallway with itsy, teeny, weeny, little steps and spends an hour going to the elevator. Annoying.

2. Redundancy. If you've asked me 2, 3, even 4 times if I'm attending the conference, I probably am. Please don't put a note in my chair asking for yet another confirmation for a "final head count." I believe that's what you told me the last 3 times you asked me. It's a waste of time and incredibly, painfully annoying.

3. Getting new license plates. This is annoying on many different levels. One, I hate putting them on. Two, I already had the old ones memorized. Why should I be punished for be fiscally responsible and keeping my car past its prime? Three, if one were to say, memorize another person's license plates, and then that person were to get new license plates, that could, theoretically, mess up one's notice of whether one's big boss is at work or not. Let's just quit the whole new license plate thing shall we?

ET is good.

The Paramount downtown (8th and Congress) does the Summer Classic Film Series every summer and it's probably my favorite thing about summer in this town. Saturday afternoon I saw ET. I'd forgotten how much I love that movie. It makes me cry about halfway in and I don't stop until the credits start rolling. It's the first movie I ever cried during while I was a kid.

One thing I noticed about the movie is how perspectives change. When I was a kid I was completely convinced the doctors and scientists were the bad guys who were killing ET. I guess as a kid I trusted the kid in the movie (Elliott) and totally believed him to be the source of TRUTH. As an adult, I see the movie and think the doctors and scientists were just trying to help ET, not kill him, and they didn't make him "die," it was just what was happening to him after he'd been exposed to our germs, been away from home too long, or whatever.

I loved the scenes at the beginning where the older brother and his friends were playing a game (although I didn't figure out which one) at the kitchen table in what looked like a smoke-filled room (really the kitchen with weird lighting). It reminded me of the 80s when I was little and used to beg my older brother to let me play with him and his friends. He never let me either.

One more noticeable fact: the mom left the little daughter (Gerty? Drew Barrymore's character - so freakin' cute!) at home by herself while she went to go pick up Elliott at school. Parents would never do such a thing today, right? But I distinctly remember my mom leaving me at home alone on Saturday mornings when she went to the grocery store. I couldn't have been much older than 4 or 5, so what gives? I guess kids now are more likely to set fire to their houses than we were. Or maybe they're smarter and know how to unlock doors and run out in the middle of the street. Beats me. Good thing I don't have kids.

To err is to bike...

Listen, I have no problem with bikers. I understand that some people find it annoying that they wear advertisers on their shirts, especially when said shirts were purchased at Academy and the bikers are wearing them while they're speeding down the neighborhood streets, but I don't really care.

I think it's dumb of bikers to bike down major highways and busy roads but again, no big deal. As a matter of fact, I'm not even seriously bothered by bikers running the red lights and stop signs. I understand it's hard to start and stop again. I get it.

But what I have a problem with is a situation that occurred this morning while I was driving into my building's parking garage at work. I turned right (in my car) onto a one-way street. I encountered a biker going the wrong way on the one-way street and had to wait for him to pass the opening of my garage so I could turn in. Once again, I didn't really care - until. Until he started bad mouthing me for... for looking at him? for following traffic rules? I'm not sure. But he was definitely shooting obscenities in my direction while he was biking the wrong way down a one way street.

Is it necessary to be angry when you're in the wrong? I realize some people see no other way of dealing with situations but please. I was so tempted to slowly edge my car up and scare the biker bugger. It would have been funny. And if I would have been an angrier person, like G for instance, I would have stopped the car and confronted the annoying biker. Luckily I was too tired to give a rat's ass and thought I'd get him back by blogging about his absurdity in my online outlet that no one reads. That'll show him.

Madness

I could really live without the budget minded folks screaming, via the internet, that I MUST HAVE A ROTH IRA THIS SECOND!!! You want to induce panic in me? Scare me into thinking I'm pissing away my hard-earned money by buying pretty things to adorn my body and home. Besides, I don't have $4,000 to put into an IRA every year. Stop harassing me with your well-intentioned budget blogs, damn internet!

So I have this friend.

We'll call him Pissy Pants, PP for short. PP is a single, successful guy (successful in the career world, not anything else). With a little help he could be better than average looking. He's not there all the time yet but he has his moments. Unfortunately his skillz with the ladies are, shall we say, lacking?

PP calls me yesterday and tells me, yet again, that another girl likes him waaay more than he likes her. Finally, and without much ado, I call bullshit. I explained that it's not that I don't believe he believes what he's saying, it's that I believe his perception is off. He didn't take too kindly to this bit of truth telling, but the cold, hard truth is that it's true.

Examples of PP's "girls who like him waaay more than he likes them" are girls who he makes out with one night (never gets to home or anything), he converses with over IM, and who maybe, possibly suggest going out some other time or perhaps kiss him in a 2nd drunken incident. The girls inevitably disappear from his famous IM screen within a few weeks (they stop talking to him), and no drama is involved.

Boys, here's a hint: girls are sometimes like boys. Occasionally they like to fool around with someone they find mildly interesting, either through their personality or their looks, usually with some amount of adult beverages involved, and it doesn't mean anything. Or, at the very least, it doesn't mean they want to have your babies.

Further, just because you're not picturing spending the rest of your life with the cute hottie you just made out with at the bar doesn't mean she likes you any more than you're liking her. She probably has no thoughts of you beyond a potential void filler while she's waiting around for someone who she wouldn't dream of having drunken antics with on the first date.

I wouldn't be writing about this except that PP called me seeking advice on why he didn't like Girl A (the one he made out with) but was strangely attracted to Girl B (someone he's known a long time and never thought about romantically but shows up to The Party with The Boyfriend). And when I gave my advice (aka blunt opinion), he bristled. So PP? Get over yourself. The sooner the better. If you start thinking about women as human beings and not "jugs," you might have a lot more luck in finding that one you might, possibly, maybe think about when your IM screen is closed.

Duuuuuude

I just got shafted. The secretaries at work just uninvited me to a birthday lunch. No shit. Here I was thinking I was one of the "real peeps" of the office, not just one of the stuck up lawyers. Maybe it's time I take my head out of my ass and accept the fact I am who I hate. It's probably simpler that way. No introspection needed, right? I already know all the facets of everything I hate. If I am that person, there's no need to ever look deep down inside again. I kind of like that. Maybe I secretly love that which I loathe. Interesting...

Technology Etiquette

I'm not a Miss Manners or Emily Post by any means but some things are just rude, ya know? I'm on this kick after reading an article on cnn.com, which listed some of the most common faux pas.

Here are mine:

1.) Answering a cell in the middle of a conversation, as a general rule. Of course I understand there are exceptions to this - waiting on an important call, a 911 from your parents, etc., but please don't make it a habit to answer you phone at dinner with friends and hold a whole conversation at the table. Get up, walk away, and apologize to your dinner companions, your conversation companions, whatever. First of all, I don't want to hear you talk with someone else. Second, talking in the middle of a group disables the group from continuing the conversation. Third, it's just rude.

2.) Texting. Man I hate texters. I understand text messages are convenient and it does take away from the aforementioned rude call, but keep it to yourself. There are, again, exceptions. If you're out with a group and another member of the group texts you to find out where you are, cool. But put the phone away. Your entertainment is the group of people you're with, not the phone. And please don't text when I'm talking to you. I have never understood how people think it's okay to have a texting conversation going on at the same time as a verbal conversation. You don't want to talk to me? Okay. But don't text someone else and pretend you still want to carry on with me. Choose one or the other. It would be like reading a book in the middle of an outing, a conversation, or a dinner - weird and obstructive.

3.) Loud cellphone talkers/rings. I know half the population is deaf but should the other half of us have to suffer? My own mother is a violater of this rule. Her cellphone ring is so loud you can hear it in another county. And her ring is the Kentucky state song, which makes no sense since she's from Texas and has no ties to Kentucky. It's especially annoying. I used to hate people talking on blue tooths or hands-free, because I'd get all confused and assume they were talking to me only to realize they weren't. Very embarassing on my part, you see. But I've accepted those things. I simply cannot accept the loud talker/rings though. Turn the volume down already. If you must yell, do it in the privacy of your own car.

In conclusion, be aware. I don't care if you're isolating yourself from nature by wearing an ipod down the street, and I don't care if you spend 99% of your time with a phone to your ear. But for the love of god, keep me out of it, okay?

Girls Night Out!

Tonight is the First Annual Girls' Night Out! Or First bi-monthly? Monthly? Whatever. I haven't had an official Girls' Night in ages. I can't wait. I'm wearing a pretty dress, shaving my legs, putting on eyeliner, and maybe I'll do more than simply brush my hair. It's a big night for me. I thought about painting my fingernails, but that's way too much effort. That kind of grooming is going way too far.

We're going to a fancy restaurant for dinner, possibly hitting up a cheap bar for cheap drinks, and then we're going to dance/bar hop the night away. However did I use to do this 4 nights out of the week? I was insane.

I'll update with details of the debauchery, unless it gets too, too crazy and we don't want any record of the night.

Annoyance is a virtue - or something like that.

G says I'm disgruntled, as a general rule. Perhaps he's right, although I'm loathe to admit it. But seriously - notes in my chair at work? That's just asking for trouble. J sent me a link to http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com and I think this note pretty much sums it up:



I should not be held responsible for polite requests in my chair to write memos on conversations I've yet to have. A request like that is just asking for postal service treatment.

And I thought I was a smart ass.

According to this site, http://www.someecards.com/, I'm not. I'm not even close to being nearly as funny as I thought I was. Hilarious.

I hope she doesn't go blind.

J's having lasik today. Good luck! I hope you can still see me in all my stunningly beautiful glory after it's all said and done.

Don't worry. If worse comes to worse I'll read the next Harry Potter book out loud to you, just so you know what happens.

Stupid email coupons...

I hate when online retailers send you bogus coupons. The subject says "20% off" and I'm all excited. Yes! I want 20% off. So I take the time to open the email and scroll down, only to realize that it's 20% off a purchase of $100 or more. I do not want to spend $100, hence the excitement at the 20% off, especially at the Gap where I'm pretty sure I could buy everything in the whole store for $100. (Of course I'm just kidding about being able to purchase the whole store - I know I'd have to wait a week for it all to go on sale.) Know thy audience, online retailers!

Enjoying Veronica Mars - again.

My girlfriends and I have started a Veronica Mars Tuesday night... thing. We call it Veronica Mars Tuesdays. Shut up. Sometimes obvious beats creative.

We watch 3 episodes at a time and I'm the only one that's seen them before. I love listening to everyone guess about who raped Veronica, who killed Lily, etc. They're all wrong, of course, but it's great fun. And I realize how dumb I was the first time I watched the show, because I never even thought to guess who did what. I pretty much assumed I had no clue and left it at that. My friends are also very talented guessers. They haven't got anything right yet, but they do notice some of the more subtle clues. I'm impressed - and maybe a little frightened. Remind me never to underestimate the intelligence of my girls.

B missed it, so I told her she had to catch up on www.televisionwithoutpity.com. We'll see if she's up to snuff next week.

I freakin' love that show. I hate the CW for canceling it. I can only hope that the new comic book series will be great, and that Rob Thomas follows through with his movie idea. I'd love to see our dear Veronica in 10 years. I have a sneaking suspicion that she and I would have a lot in common. Except for the girl detective part. And probably a lot of pop cultural references. But other than that? Twins, baby.

A New Start

I can’t afford a good therapist (at least not longer than 6 sessions, which is the insurance mandated maximum and apparently just long enough to get on drugs and see how you “take” to them), so I’m starting over here. Hopefully this will be an exercise of proper displacement and I can exude all my lackluster sarcasm and constantly recurring negativity out “there.” And if no one reads this, well, that’s potentially the story of my life so it’s not a huge loss in the grand scheme of things.

I reserve the right to come back and edit this at will, as I’m certain I’ll be horrified (as my mood-inducers determine) at some of my musings. So if you want to blackmail me, I suggest you copy and paste.

I watched The Goonies last night. I got it on sale at Target last week (or the week before?) for $7.50. I can afford DVDs at that price. Only it seems I got what I paid for. It paused through a large portion of the movie. It didn’t skip, it would just pause for moments at a time, whenever it felt like it, apparently at points specifically designed to cause maximum irritation. The DVD, however, grossly underestimated my laziness. It wasn’t just that I was too lazy to move my hand to the side table and grab the remote. No, there was more to it than that. See, to turn off the movie meant I had to replace it with TV. That meant I’d have to scroll through all the basic cable channels to find something I could stand to have on in the background. As I hate most things forensic related, and I’m not a movie-of-the-month-fan, that leaves me with MTV or the History Channel. Further, I was upstairs and I don’t get MTV up there. (Actually I do get it but I’m not about to stare through the fuzz long enough to figure out what the wrong color is for a Range Rover for this week’s birthday bash. Non-fuzzed version? Yeah, I’d tune in for that.) So History Channel, right? Only if it’s about WWII or Nostradamus or tools or some such nonsense, I’m not interested. Which leaves me back to scrolling through the numerous channels. See? I’m a thoughtful lazy person. It’s not simply about pointing a remote – it’s about mental stimulation.

My point is that I want to take the Goonies DVD back to Target but I’m not sure I have the receipt. I just want to replace it with an exact copy since my copy doesn’t work very well. The only problem is that I returned a couple DVDs for G a few months ago to Target without a receipt. Apparently they keep your name for stuff like that and only allow so many per year. I knew helping out G would screw me in the end. (I’m lovely like that.)

I think I’ll go through all my plastic Target bags that I have stashed under my sink to see if the receipt is in the abyss somewhere. It’s only $7.50, right? You’d think someone with my mountain of debt would look at something so trivial and not worry but you’d be wrong. I only spend mightily and without caution on things that costs gazillions of dollars. If I can buy it at Target, I’m examining every nook and cranny of that baby to make sure it’s perfect. If I went to a doctor on a regular basis, I’d like to think he or she would name something after me.