Friday, January 16, 2009

God how I hate BBQ...

How much food does it take to feed a party of 22? In my mom's world, it takes 6.5 lbs of cow, 4 half birds, and 10 lbs of miscellaneous pork parts wrapped in edible condoms. Not to mention sides and desserts.

If you ever wondered why Texas is top 5 in obesity it's because of the above. That's basically a pound of meat (just meat!) per person plus sides plus desserts. I say desserts plural because there will be many cakes and pies, as a southern family is want to do. (Technically we're west, not south, but we eat like poor, southern people so that works better for description's sake.)

I scoured the internet for the proper amount of food per person for a party. I came up with 1/4 lb of meat (or 1/2 lb if it's boned meat). Basically my family eats 4 x what the normal person would eat. It's quite gross actually.

I will not eat any of it, of course. I don't eat cow; I try to avoid sausage parts; and meat on a bone grosses me out. I thought about going to a local place and getting some wheat roast (fake meat) to see if anyone would notice, but I knew they would and I'd never live it down. Once your good food reputation is lost in my family, it's lost forever. (They still talk about the time my mother tried to make Stouffer's Stuffing at Thanksgiving one year and that was over 30 years ago!)

I tried to find a picture of 20 lbs of meat but the images grossed me out so bad I had to take a moment. So no pics.

Meat is gross.

7 comments:

Santa said...

Meat is awesome. You are gross.

RanaElizabeth said...

For heaven's sake. That is Santa. That's me. Sorry, Tina. Santa does not actually think you are gross. I was still signed onto the Gmail account I made for ST's Secret Santa this year and Blogger is too smart for me.

Blondie said...

Santa doesn't think you're gross but the Easter Bunny does :p

Sorry Tina but meat rocks. A 20lb BBQ sounds like a good time to me.

b said...

I find BBQ very offensive.

Jean-Luc said...

Barbecued food is awful. Beef should be cooked in it's own juices and natural flavors not stripped of them in a "Burnt on the outside, cardboard on the inside" fashion. For some reason people seem to think barbecued food is WAY beyond over-rated. the only thing a barbecue should be used for is to keep people warm during the winter.

Anonymous said...

How the hell is American/Texas BBQ good? It's disgusting, fat slabs of meat and no flavor on the inside. It's like eating raw meat...yuck.

Anonymous said...

Can't stand BBQ...it's only burnt food lol