Friday, January 30, 2009

Random Office Place Fears...

#1. Being the only person in a smelly bathroom and having other people come in, thinking it was you who made said bathroom smelly.

#2. Scarfing down soup right before a big meeting (because you're such a busy, worker bee) and having something in your teeth the entire meeting.

#3. Spilling your giant bottle of water/cup of coffee/can of diet soda all over original documents.

#4. Having your doctor's nurse call you back while your office is full of people.

#5. Attempting to move the wires to a computer in front of a big inter-office meeting (in a skirt) and falling on your face in the process.

#6. Spilling part of your South Beach peanut butter protein bar on your office chair, attempting to mop it up with lots of water and napkins, and leaving a big, wet spot on your chair that never, ever dries making it look like you peed your chair.

#7. This one needs a preamble: So let's say you dressed quickly in the morning and only as you were getting ready to leave did you notice that the lining for your skirt and/or dress was inching out under your hem (damn shrinkage). You decide to pin up the portion of the lining that's sticking out only you can't find any pins. Starting to panic, because you're already late, you notice a stack of fake, trashy clip-on earrings from a recent Halloween costume. Now on the fear - you are presenting a very important issue in front of a boss you really want to impress and when you stand up, random earring bits start to fall from under your dress.

#8. Scratching your nose when someone walks by your office and looks in mistaking your scratch for a pick.

#9. Accidentally calling your boss a douchebag. To his face.

#10. That someone might actually ask you about all the fancy books you put on your bookshelf but have never really read.

Absolutely none of these happened to me.


RanaElizabeth said...

I'm glad to know that none of those things actually happened to you. Otherwise, you might have some problems.

Tina said...

Not that any of that happened to me, but if it did I don't think it would necessarily denote problems, per se. Maybe just a slight propensity towards the odd.

RanaElizabeth said...

No, totally major serious problems. Seriously. Definitely.